Can a couple rebuild and fall back in love after calling a timeout on their relationship? Absolutely ― but it requires genuine time apart, patience and a lot of effort from both partners.
In a new video from The Skin Deep documentary series, a couple named Sidra and Ben ask each other intimate personal questions and recount the path they took to reconcile when their marriage was seemingly falling apart.
The couple, who have been together for 12 years and have appeared on the interview series before, start off with some softball questions. Ben asks Sidra what he does that turns her on.
“There’s a lot of things you do that turn me on,” Sidra says with a laugh. “I inherently find you very attractive.”
Clearly, they’re a couple with great chemistry. But they’re also a couple who has endured great hardship: Sidra says a move to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, for a program Ben was involved in made her feel more depressed and “adrift from herself” than ever before. She admits that led her to making some bad choices.
“But I can’t say I wish it didn’t happen,” she says. “Our relationship falling apart is what allowed us to rebuild a relationship that was stronger.”
Toward the end of the 10-minute video, Sidra asks Ben to break down the most important steps they took in order to fall back in love.
First, he says it was essential for them to take a six-month break where they lived apart. Second, they made a point to air their grievances and frustrations over their marriage. Lastly, they focused on making “incremental progress” by going on dates again.
“We weren’t trying to go back to, ‘Alright, great, let’s go back to being super happy, now,’” Ben explains. “We took it really, really slowly so that the issues and archetypes we had as husband and wife didn’t apply anymore because we were people that were meeting for the first time.”
Watch the clip to see the intimate interview in its entirety, or head over to The Skin Deep to see more of the documentary.