This month, I kicked off a weekly teleconference call series and yesterday’s discussion was about your self-talk. Not the “Way to Go!” self-talk but the negative and let’s just say, less than inspiring self-talk.
You know when it creeps in and you know how it makes you feel. You know how it just circles around and messes with your head. And you know it doesn’t serve you or serve any real purpose really…but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.
So, yesterday, I shared time with women on the phone and I recorded the call - click HERE to access the call - and during the 22 minutes, there were 3 tips I talked about to help you actively defeat that negative self-talk so you can keep fighting the good fight!
Tip #1: Vocalize your fear, shame and vulnerabilty
Yes, I am asking you to take it head on and say it out loud. A couple of weeks ago, I was getting ready to lead a 2 hour workshop, one I have given at least 100 times and I love it! It’s an amazing time with other women and they walk away with tangible ideas to implement that day. Now, a little bit before the workshop was starting, that little voice squeaked in my head:
“Amy, what makes you think you have anything to offer these women today? Who are you to share ideas with them on Living Intentionally? Remember yesterday afternoon - you weren’t so perfect then, were you?”
As an aside, the previous afternoon I raised my voice with my sons because their Xbox time was up and they were still playing. It’s a constant battle in my house…but taking a couple of deep breaths would have served me well.
Anyway, I took that voice and shared it with the group a few minutes later. When I started the workshop, I shared a personal story first and then I said something along the lines of:
“You know I have done this workshop over 100 times and I know how valuable it is. Yet, this morning, my little voice was a voice of doubt. Who am I do lead this workshop with you? Well, ladies, I am here and would love to share my experiences and expertise with you. What do you say?”
I admitted that I had some fear and shame that I wouldn’t be perfect and that I was nervous because I wanted to deliver an amazing experience for them. And you know what, we all took a breath and relaxed and had a great time!
So, vocalize your fear or shame or vulnerability. When you say it out loud, it loses it’s power.
Tip #2: Write one gratitude
When you hear that voice in your head, right then, in that moment, write one thing you are grateful for. Not something you were grateful for that morning or in the past 24 hours but something you are grateful for in that moment.
And write it down…don’t just think about it. When you write something, you have to think it, write it and then you are reading what you are writing so there are more opportunities for that positive thought to really sink in :)
Also, when you think of something you are grateful for, you lighten your own mood. Often times, one positive thought will lead to other positive thoughts, which in turn can start to outspeak that negative voice.
Tip #3: The Super Woman pose
This is one of my personal favorites and you may have heard it before but I want to share it anyway. When that voice comes into your head, do the following:
- Stand up
- Place your feet shoulder width apart
- Put your hands on your hips
- Look straight ahead
That is the Super Woman pose. Keep that pose for at least a minute. You will start to feel more powerful and stronger…and it’s not just mental. There is actually a chemical release of testosterone in your body, which is one of the reasons for your feelings of strength and power.
And when you are standing there in your own Power and Strength, your voice of doubt, of negative self-talk has no where to go but out!
If you want to listen to this conversation, click HERE.
So, when you feel or hear that voice in your head, saying things you wouldn’t even say to your cat or dog…try one or all of these tips. And more importantly, Keep Fighting the Good Fight and do your best…today!