As a Coach, I often hear from clients that they are lacking in confidence. This can be something that they always experience or something that they only experience in certain circumstances. It could even be in relation to specific skills that they need to demonstrate either at work or in their social life.
Many of us experience stage fright when asked to speak or present in public or to a group and to many the thought of having to "do a party piece" at a social gathering, causes them much anxiety and embarrassment.
As a Coach, I focus on the present, with the aim of moving my clients successfully towards the future. So how do I help with a lack of self-confidence?
I use many strategies with my clients over a number of sessions to improve their confidence, self-belief and trust capabilities. However, here are 3 ways that you can try at home that will help to boost your self-confidence.
Silence Your Gremlin
Have you ever heard that little voice in your head telling you "You're no good at X" or that "you'll make a fool of yourself if you say/do Y"? That's your Gremlin talking to you. Your Gremlin is that inner voice that perhaps initially was trying to protect you "Don't put your hand in the fire", "Don't jump in the deep end if you can't swim"! But that Gremlin can stop you from taking a chance, the Gremlin is risk averse, the Gremlin is fearful. The Gremlin is afraid to start in case it fails, but confidence only comes when you give something a try. You won't know if you can do something unless you try. When your Gremlin starts with its negative chatter, notice it, acknowledge it and politely tell it to be quiet. When you've silenced the Gremlin, you can hear yourself think and you can evaluate the consequences more clearly. Silence The Gremlin!
Reflect and Visualise
I use an NLP visualisation technique called the "Circle of Excellence". This technique takes a past experience of confidence and recreates the thoughts, feelings and sensations for present situations where a boost of confidence may be needed. It encourages the client to design a circle of excellence that looks, feels and sounds like no other circle. It is magnificent. The client then reflects on a past occasion when they felt really confident, capable and strong. It is important that the client not only visualises the moment but reflects on how they were feeling, what they were sensing, and what they were thinking. They recreate the moment not only in their mind but throughout their whole body! The client steps into the Circle of Excellence and associates the moment with confidence, ability and power. The Circle of Excellence is then folded up and brought with you to be taken out in moments of uncertainty and where you need to boost your confidence.
Posture and Positivity
When we lack confidence, we try to make ourselves smaller, holding our head down, dropping our shoulders, hiding behind someone and generally trying not to be seen. But what would happen if you put your shoulders back and stood tall? What if you took a confident stance? What if you made eye contact with the people you were talking to? What if you smiled at someone? What would happen? You would feel more confident! Amy Cuddy believes that practicing a "power pose" can actually make us more confident. People will want to engage with you, people will want to listen to what you are saying. Believe positive thoughts about yourself and others will believe them to. Try it!
Confidence doesn't suddenly appear overnight and it isn't something that can be created by a quick fix. However, using a number of different strategies can help and it is something that you can work on. Remember "Confidence is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets".
Best of luck with trying out the 3 Ways to Boost your Confidence and if you need any help, give me a call!