Have you ever woken up in a cold sweat from a terrible nightmare and thought to yourself, "Hm, how could I turn that nightmare into an experience that I have every day in my waking life?"
Well, the good news is that now you can. Follow these three easy steps (steps with which you're probably already comfortable) on a daily basis, and you'll be well on your way to living the nightmare of your dreams.
Step 1: Beat Yourself Up for Having the Fear
This step comes first because it's a guaranteed winner. You know, everyone has fear, no matter how amazing their life looks on the outside.
Someone who lives in a penthouse apartment in New York City and dines on caviar every morning has just as much fear as a homeless person who walks the streets looking for a warm place to sleep. Sure the specific fears may be different, but they're still there.
When you're aware of this important step, it can have a big impact on how quickly your nightmares are realized.
You can implement this step effectively by saying things to yourself like, "I'm so stupid, I can't believe this still bothers me!" and "My teacher/mother/father/friend was right, I'll never be successful." The more cutting the inner dialogue, the more quickly you'll see results. Pull out your inner drama king or queen and just go for it!
I'll never forget the story of Mary, who had a big presentation at work coming up. Her nightmare was that she would stand up in front of her bosses and have nothing to present - her slides weren't ready, she left her notecards at home, and she found herself stumbling and stuttering through a weak presentation.
Well, using just this step alone to judge herself for the fear, she was able to realize her nightmare. She was so judgmental of herself that it paralyzed her from taking any action to prepare for the presentation, and she did a terrible job! Great work, Mary!
Step 2: Fight It
Fortunately, this is a natural response that comes after judging the fear. Fight it! Now, I'm not talking about pulling out your boxing gloves and duking it out (although that's a great visual), I'm talking about physically resisting the nightmare. Let's talk about what this looks like.
Notice how your body is feeling right now. You might be sitting at your desk, possibly relaxing during a break at work. Or maybe you're lounging in bed in the morning perusing the latest articles online and sipping your coffee.
Picture your worst nightmare. Really get clear about what it is - visualize yourself in that moment. Now how does your body feel?
Chances are, you've tightened your muscles in some way. Your jaw may have tensed or your shoulders started to creep up toward your neck. Your stomach might have contracted. Great! You're right on track.
Accentuate those responses to get the most out of this step. If your jaw did tighten up, take it a step further: grind your teeth together! If your shoulders started to squeeze up toward your ears, really hunch them up even further. Make it hurt! If it's painful, you know you're doing something right.
The more routinely you can tense and tighten your body throughout the day in an effort to "fight" the nightmare, the more inevitable it will be that it turns into a reality. And you'll also probably end up with a great set of abs!
Step 3: Don't Look at It
If you're someone who isn't very good at beating yourself up (Step 1) or resisting the nightmare (Step 2), there is still a wonderful solution that will get you where you want to go: don't look at it.
Many people I talk to are surprised that this step is so effective, and yet, I've seen lives change dramatically from this one simple step. Push your nightmare down. Distract yourself if you have to.
Thanks to the age of the Internet, we have some wonderful distractions at our disposal. Facebook, Instagram, computer games, Candy Crush... all these "apps" and "networks" are available to you at the touch of a button. And let's not forget the distractions of our ancestors, such as food, alcohol and good old-fashioned relationship drama. These are also great options you can always fall back on.
Whatever distracting activity you choose, just be sure that you don't deal with the fear itself, even if you have to pick a fight with someone and blow everything out of proportion. That's a much better option than dealing with the actual fear - and trust me, it will make your nightmare a reality much more quickly.
Bonus Tip: Whatever You Do, Don't Feel the Fear
You may be tempted to feel into your body and experience the fear. Don't do it! Stay in your head about it. Don't notice your body, don't notice where the fear is stored; stay in your head.
I've created a special word for this: decorpitation.
Decapitation is when you cut off the head, but in this case, we want to cut off the body and live only in the head. This way, you won't feel anything. Your life will be ruled completely by thought, and letting your thoughts run rampant is an excellent way to manifest fears.
No Matter What - DON'T GET HELP
If you live by these steps faithfully (or even just one or two of them), you'll be well on your way to creating your nightmare in real life. Just remember, whatever you do, DON'T GET HELP. It's so much easier to stay trapped in your fear when you're spinning in your own little world and you're making up all kinds of scenarios in your head. As soon as you start talking with someone else about it in a real way - especially someone who specializes in helping people dissolve their fears - the fear knows that its days are numbered.
I don't want to scare you, but you need to be warned - I've seen people's fears melt away like magic! Can you imagine?!?
The good news is that there were other fears that came up later, so all wasn't lost. I have to warn you, though, that those people had a new level of confidence. The new fears didn't seem able to get as tight a grip. They just weren't as deeply imbedded. It was like the people KNEW that fear isn't reality and, while it did feel scary sometimes, it just wasn't the same.
It Takes Work
I know this is a lot of work. It takes effort! But if you want your fear to really materialize, this is what you must do.
As much effort as this requires, keep in mind that your fears are comfortable. You've probably formed a life-long bond with them. They're familiar and even comforting. It will be well worth your time to fight for your limitations and your fears.
After all, if you address these little fears and turn your small nightmares into reality, then you won't have to face the big ones (you know, years of "not being enough" or "not deserving what you want" or "not being able to handle how powerful you are"). Just think - if you uncovered and let go of your big fears, your life would change in a big way... and no one wants that.
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