30 Reasons Why Guns Are Needed In Schools

by Betsy DeVos,* Secretary of Education Nominee

A grizzly invades a gun-free school. Tragedy ensues.
A grizzly invades a gun-free school. Tragedy ensues.

1. Grizzly Bears

2. Zombies

3. Aggressive PTA Parents

4. Clowns

5. ISIS

6. The Joker

7. Rabid Dogs

8. The Manson Family

9. Barack Hussein Obama

10. The Cast of Hamilton

11. Heathens

12. Ninjas

13. Venus Fly Traps

14. Flying Monkeys

15. Libertine Men and Scarlet Women and Ragtime! Oh We Got Trouble! Right Here in River City!

16. Satan

17. Hungry, Hungry Hippos

18. Pirates

19. Rachel Maddow

20. Dinosaurs

21. Hannibal Lecter

22. Vampires

23. Apostates

24. Aliens

25. Great White Sharks

26. Darth Vader

27. Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

28. Meryl Streep

29. The “Public” Part of Public Schools

30. Voldemort

*Not really. This is a satire, written by a hater and loser who knows the difference between proficiency and growth. Follow me on Facebook and Twitter and at Yourmomsguidetolife.com

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