37 Truths About Best Friends

We met when we were 12, the first day of junior high, 5th period geography. Lunch was in the middle of class and I was nervous I’d have no one to sit with in the cafeteria. Then I spotted your Bermuda bag - clanky wood handles, buttoned-on cover with whales or strawberries embroidered on it. It was just like mine - minus the monogram because you didn’t have a middle name.

“I like your bag,” one of us said to the other, and in that moment we saved each other from junior high hell - or maybe our bags did. We sat together at lunch and we’ve been best friends ever since.

Now you’re turning fifty and for your birthday I want to share with you these 37 truths about friendship (one for every year we’ve celebrated together) that I’ve learned since that day in 1979.

1. A group of best friends is better than one. On my way home from school one day, two best friends invited me to walk with them. In class, you met a girl who talked as much as you did and I met another girl who studied as much as me. And suddenly we were were six best friends. This post is for all of us.
2. Girl drama is unnecessary and uncool. I’m not rewriting history - we had our share of drama back in the day, but we never let it divide the group. We knew what mattered most and we worked it out.
3. Women can have male friends. We love “our guys!”
4. Sisters before misters. We kissed a lot of the same boys and we’re still together.
5. It’s not a deal-breaker, but it helps when your best friend wears the same size shoe as you.
6. You can love someone else’s family like they are your own.
7. Best friends can’t fight like sisters. We’re as close as sisters – and we used to fight like them. But sisters rebound fast from fights; best friends take more time. Once we figured that out, we stopped fighting…with each other. We still fight with our sisters!
8. Birthdays are a gift. It is a privilege to grow older.
9. No one can beat us at Pictionary. You don’t even need to put pencil to paper and I’ll know the answer.
10. When a best friend’s heart breaks, our heart breaks with her.
11. Best friends may not know what to do for each other in the darkest days, but they show up.
12. It is possible for six people to talk at once and hear every word.
13. We may not look the same as we did when we first met, but some things never change. Did you notice the dirty looks we got at dinner the other night? I guess we still get loud and high-pitched when we’re together. Oh well.
14. Life before social media was so much better.
15. If getting a perm was the biggest mistake any of us ever made, I’d say we’ve done pretty well for ourselves.
16. Stupid, private jokes never get old.
17. Everyone should take ballroom dancing lessons.
18. Friendship is a long game. We may not always feel and act like BFFs but we always get back together.
19. You can never see U2 in concert enough.
20. Best friends should always have other best friends. We have our swim moms, soccer moms, and skate moms, our college friends, our work friends and our neighbors. It’s healthy for best friends to branch out.
21. Best friends forgive.
22. You know you are truly best friends when you can’t remember if a memory was yours or hers.
23. Friends tell you the truth when you need to hear it and little, white lies when you don’t.
24. Every friendship has its own rhythm. Some best friends talk on the phone every day and some go weeks between calls. No matter the frequency, when you do talk, it feels like no time has passed.
25. Only best friends can have entire conversations using Bitmojis.
26. Pick your battles. The trick to remaining friends is overlooking some things.
27. You should always celebrate each other’s successes like you celebrate your own.
28. Nerds have more fun. I know you like to think we were cool back in high school, but isn’t it time you faced facts? There is no way the cool kids had as much fun as us.
29. The older you get, the more you need your friends. You think puberty was hard? Try facing menopause alone.
30. When your best friend calls and says, “I need you to do this,” you do it.
31. The great thing about showing up for a friend no-questions-asked is you can make them return the favor.
32. Friends listen when you complain about your husband, but they never judge. (I read that somewhere; we would never complain about ours!)
33. Best friends keep each other’s secrets. Period.
34. Frenemies are not friends. Friends make you feel good about yourself.
35. Good wine, like good friends, must mature. We started with Riunite Lambrusco straight from the bottle and now look at us - drinking Savvy B out of glasses with stems!
36. Accessories are a perfectly good reason to become friends and an even better reason to remain friends. Can I borrow your necklace?
37. Forget Taylor Swift and her friends, we’re #squadgoals ladies!

Happy Birthday.