You meet someone special and fall in love. Time ceases to exist and food tastes differently. You're living the fairy tale that you've seen over and over again in the movies. You love this person so much it feels like your heart is going to burst. On top of the feelings, the sex is incredible. Every time you make love to this person, you can't believe how lucky you are. You want to spend the rest of your life lost in this person's warm embrace.
Somewhere along the way, the honeymoon phase of your relationship ends and the hard work of making love last starts. What was once a fairy tale romance turns into days and nights of you wondering how you ever fell in love. Some days are good, and some days make you want to hide under the covers. You tell yourself it's just a funk and that you will find each other again, but that day never seems to come. Here are four signs it's time to end a long-term relationship.
1. Your sex life is a distant memory despite your efforts to revive it.
Sex is the one pleasure that's even better when you're experiencing it with someone you love. It doesn't matter what happened during your day, to be able to drown out the world and experience moments of pure bliss is priceless. Sex can start out hot in a relationship. I don't believe all the myths, just because you're in a long-term relationship doesn't mean your sex life has to decrease in frequency or quality. But, what if it does?
There is a temptation in a long-term relationship to compromise the quality of sex for what is convenient. And then there are the situations when it gets even worse. Your sex life becomes non-existent, and you fight the frustration daily. You do what you can to recapture that magic in the bedroom, but it never seems to come back. If you have given it your all--if you have gone over the top to win back the special bond in the bedroom--it may be time to end a long-term relationship.
2. You only communicate when necessary.
We all know that communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. When you communicate openly, honestly, and clearly, you become closer to the person you love. You can talk through the issues that break up couples. If the communication is a series of one word, infrequent, and only when necessary, it may be a sign that the relationship is coming to an end. You can try to break through, but if it feels like your love doesn't want to do the same, you may need to get honest about your future together.
3. You easily fall for other people.
When your love is strong, you only see and want to be with the person you love. Yes, there are many beautiful people in the world, and you look, but it's not looks of lust. You would never betray the person who takes your breath away. When you find yourself looking a little too long, or it seems like you're falling for other people--and too easily--it may be a sign. Strong love doesn't leave room to fall easily.
4. You're too tired to fight the truth.
Your sex life is a daily frustration, the person you love won't open up and let you in, and you fall when you should be grounded in your love. When you sit down for a minute and get honest, you realize it's too hard to keep fighting the truth. You realize you're too tired to battle what you know needs to happen: it's time to end a long-term relationship.
These signs together or alone may not mean the relationship can't be saved. I can't speak for your individual situation, and it's up to you to get honest about where your relationship is going. Honesty in the relationship, and to yourself, is the key to making the decision to stay or leave. Your relationship with someone you love is worth fighting for, so if there is a chance, try to work it out. If the other person isn't willing to make the same effort, only you know what you have to do.
Photo: Flickr/ Garry Wilmore