THE BLOG

4 Truths to Set You Free

The questions below can be used as tools to shift your perspective and ease your mind into new ways of operating.
03/25/2016 05:01pm ET | Updated March 26, 2017
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
woman praying, tranquil scene, freedom concepts.

We create our lives from our thoughts and actions. What we think and what we do are how our choices take form and paint our reality.

They're rooted in what we believe to be true. By changing what we choose to be true, it follows that our thoughts, actions, and feelings will change as well.

If you're not enjoying your life, then you need to take a look at the truths you're operating from.

The following four truths will allow you to -

  • be less affected by silly stuff and outside sources.

  • feel more present and less worried about the future.
  • be more optimistic and light hearted.
  • feel more compassionate and forgiving.
  • feel more secure and confident in yourself.
  • These are all a practice, meaning you have to use them every day like a muscle. The ease in which you're able to act from these will grow over time. Sometimes you'll forget and then you'll remember. They'll always be there to come back to.

    The questions below can be used as tools to shift your perspective and ease your mind into new ways of operating.

    Truth #1: You're responsible for your own experience.

    Happiness comes when we take responsibility for everything we're experiencing.

    No matter what is happening outside of us, we control how we react and what we do. In other words, our thoughts, feelings, and actions are our responsibility.

    Responsibility means:

    Letting it go when someone cuts you off in traffic.

    Going with the flow when your flight gets delayed and finding a way to make the best of it.

    Owning it when someone upsets you and communicating that to them to resolve the issue rather than letting resentment fester.

    Blame, complaining, and excuses are all signs that we're giving away our responsibility and power. Fortunately, we have the ability to create whatever we want, we're capable all on our own.

    Giving up responsibility can feel easier at times because it means you might not have to face rejection, failure, or disappointment, but in the end you're limiting yourself to the happiness and fulfillment you can experience.

    If you're feeling disempowered, or are blaming, complaining, or making excuses ask yourself:

    What do I want to experience?

    What am I currently experiencing?

    Where am I giving up my power, my responsibility?

    Who or what am I blaming for my experience?

    What can I do to create the experience I want?

    Remember, you always have a choice.

    Truth #2: It's not personal.

    Nothing anyone does is ever about you. It could feel really personal at times, but it's not. Their actions are coming from their own beliefs about themselves, the way they view the world, their values, and the reality they've created.

    People may blame you, say harsh things, hurt you, run away, smother you, or ignore you. It never has anything to do with you.

    When you realize that people's intentions come from their own stuff and are not just to make you feel a certain way, you can be free from feeling like a victim.

    Please know this isn't an excuse to let people treat you however they please. You can be free from feeling like a victim of someone's words, actions, and behavior AND also respect your boundaries and assert how you'd like to be treated. That is part of taking responsibility.

    If you're feeling annoyed or upset by someone else's actions, big or small, ask yourself:

    Is this really about me?

    What could they be experiencing that caused them to act this way?

    At this point either let it go, or give them feedback about their actions. Anything other than is only harming you.

    Truth #3: Every moment is an opportunity.

    When you look at every moment as an opportunity, life begins to change drastically.

    Said another way, every moment is here for your greater good.

    Rather than asking, "Why me?" while assuming you got the short end of the stick, ask "Why me?" with the assumption that whatever happened happened FOR you. The answers will be much different.

    Other things to look for in every situation:

    What am I learning here?

    What's the lesson in this for me?

    How can I use this to make my experience better in the future?

    What's the gift in this situation?

    What are the positives?

    Truth #4: You're always creating.

    You are always creating your experience.

    Everything we do, all of the billions of choices we make everyday, are creating our reality.

    When you become aware of that, you can look more consciously at how everything is coming together in the way that it is.

    If you're not experiencing what you want, start looking at how and why that's happening. The deeper we get to know ourselves, the happier we'll become because we can clearly see how we're blocking what we want, not being honest about what we want, limiting our joy, or letting fear run the show.

    If you're not loving how you feel inside, or what you see outside, ask yourself:

    How am I creating this?

    What am I believing, thinking, and feeling?

    Where am I giving away responsibility?

    Where am I making excuses?

    What actions am I taking, or not taking that are contributing to this?

    This isn't always easy for our egos, so I urge you to do this with genuine curiosity, not self-judgement.

    I'd love to hear from you. Do you believe these 4 truths? How can adopting these change your life for the better? Answer in the comments below!

    To get more insight into how to create happiness every day, I invite you to download of free copy of my guide, 5 Steps to Joy: live happy every day & create an incredible life.