Thinking about setting a new year's resolution? You're not alone! Roughly 1 in every 2 people do it. I can see why, too. After all, research shows that people have a better chance of achieving a goal if they explicitly articulate it - to themselves or to others… But, if that's the case, then why is it that only 8% of people who set a new year's resolution, actually achieve it? My answer: alignment.
For years, I've worked with clients who struggle with accomplishing what they've set out to do. The issue is almost always the same: They have not done the work to make sure that their mind and their spirit are aligned around what it is they say they want to achieve. They have good ideas about what changes they may need to make, but deep down in the core of their souls, their beliefs betray and contradict their desires.
They think they should lose weight but believe they really can't. They think they should make more money but don't truly believe that they deserve it. They want to be loved but deep down inside, don't actually believe that they're good enough to love. They want to spend more time with their family but secretly believe it will only cause them more stress. They think about something one way but believe something very different about it in the depths of their spirit.
Remember, ideas are thoughts we hold in our mind, but beliefs are thoughts that we hold in our souls. They shape our approach to life and color the filters through which we experience the world. So if your beliefs contradict your ideas, you’re not likely to be able to bring some of those idea-based goals to fruition. If you're really serious about setting a New Year's resolution this year… one which you will actually see through… make sure it's truly aligned with the deepest beliefs inside of you. Then go from there.
Here are four ways to set a New Year’s Resolution that is in alignment with who you are:
1. Believe that it's possible – It’s easy to convince ourselves that what we hope for, may never happen. Research and statistics can make some of our dreams feel unlikely. We can become discouraged by memories of hard work that we feel led us nowhere. We search for people around us to inspire us and instead often find ourselves surrounded by friends and family who are just as frustrated about their goals… and we start to think: I’ll never do this, I can’t do this, this is undoable.
Instead… believe in the possibility. Research the success stories. Seek out people who have achieved what you desire and let them remind you of what is possible for you. Look at every time you tried, as a time that you learned something new that will help you accomplish what you have set out to do. If you can dream it, you can certainly do it… for it has already been done by another… so why not by you?
2. Believe you deserve it – We jeopardize and sabotage anything that we do not truly believe we deserve. Instead of allowing ourselves the joy that we so desperately seek, we hold on to mistakes that we’ve made, people we’ve hurt and flaws we see within us. Then we punish ourselves for all the ways that we believe we fell short, by keeping ourselves from the rewards we deeply believe are reserved for people who are more deserving.
Instead… believe in your worth. Believe in the power of redemption. Believe in the power of forgiveness. You did the best you could with what you knew about who you thought you were. Now, focus on the greatness of who you truly are and let that guide you. What you thought, said, ate, did, saw, caused or felt yesterday, does not have to be the criteria with which you judge yourself today. Give yourself permission to take the lesson, let go of the guilt and move on… you deserve joy and success. We all do.
3. Believe it will be truly helpful to you – Sometimes we set goals based on what we think we should want, think we should have, or think we should do. We let other people get inside our heads and prioritize for us. We take on false ambitions and buy into ideas that aren’t really ours. Because we don’t truly view a change as helpful or believe that it is likely to make life better, the change becomes difficult to pursue or sustain.
Instead… think about what will be truly helpful to you. What will bring you joy, push you toward success, make life feel more meaningful? If you’re going to work toward something that has been difficult, make it something that will truly make you feel better. Look to improve your mind, body and spirit and find ways to thrive a little more each day.
4. Believe that you're wonderful without it – We put such emphasis on things that we need to be or have, sometimes to compensate for what we feel we’re not. We walk around feeling like we aren’t enough, constantly searching for one more thing to make us feel complete: if I lose the weight, if I get the man, if I land that promotion… then maybe, just maybe, I will be fulfilled. But let’s be honest, feeling fulfilled is something that only happens as a result of an internal shift, not an external accomplishment.
Instead… work on feeling good about who you already are. Make lists of your positive qualities. Do things that you really enjoy. Work on loving you more. You’re more likely to accomplish your goals if you already feel good about who you are.
For help with setting and keeping your New Year’s Resolutions, visit Dr.Dee's website...
(n.d.). Retrieved December 21, 2016, from http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/