By Sue Cornbluth, Ph.D. for GalTime
Moving forward after a divorce is difficult for both men and women. No matter how the divorce occurred or ended, you find yourself single again. This can be very scary for many people and it raises the big question: Can I get my groove back? Of course you can!
Don't rush, though. It is a journey. Here are 4 simple steps on the path to your groovy greatness:
1. Release your Feelings:
Before you release your feelings of anger, sadness, hurt and -- oh yes -- fear you must acknowledge that you are actually having these feelings.
Ending a marriage is complicated and it takes time to unravel your confusing feelings. It is critical that you give yourself permission to mourn the loss of the marriage whether it was good or bad.
2. Take Time for Yourself:
When you are not spending time with your kids, that is if you have them, please take time for yourself. Going through a divorce is extremely stressful. At times, it can be difficult to stop obsessing on the break-up.
Give yourself a break; you deserve it. Treat yourself with kindness and begin the process of learning how to care for yourself. Go have an ice cream sundae for the heck of it.
3. Get a Social Network:
You need support from others while moving through a divorce. This does not always mean surrounding yourself with others who are going through the same thing, however that can help at times.
You will benefit from family and friends who can be trusted and supportive. Also, make an effort to meet new people who offer you new energy.
4. Find a Passion:
Often times in a marriage people report feeling as though they could not be their true authentic self. Now, you are free to cultivate that passion you have always had.
Reach out and do what makes you feel good! Take that art class you always wanted to or write a blog about something that makes you smile. Give yourself an opportunity to enjoy life again. Remember that moving on from a divorce takes time, so give yourself that important time to grieve the loss.
If you need time to be alone take it, but know when too much time alone becomes a problem. Try not to get stuck in those hurtful, angry feelings because you are preventing yourself from moving forward and getting your groove on.