Hello, it's me. I'm 40.
It's my 40th Birthday. Yay. Shut up. This is mostly advice to myself.
40. Nothing is exactly as you planned it. I'm not on a plane to Paris with the love of my life.
39. If you don't like the new Adele song "Hello," fuck off. You're the dick it's about.
38. Always respond to everyone that reaches out to you. Except maybe on Grindr.
37. People don't give much fucks about what you did in the past so keep doing shit.
36. Just because you want to rear end the person that cut you off doesn't mean the Buddhism isn't working. Keep practicing.
35. Wear sunscreen.
34. Take many selfies and don't give any shits about how narcissistic it is to others. Fuck them.
33. Go on vacation alone at least once. Trust me.
32. No one will ever leave you a million dollars in a bank account in Zambia.
31. Worry is worthless.
30. Eat a whole hand tossed pizza from Dominos at least once a year. Don't share.
29. Routines are traps to prevent growth. Shake up your day.
28. Don't smoke cigarettes. Like ever. I quit 14 months ago. Hardest job of my life.
27. You can offer help, but leave it at that. People need to help themselves.
26. Try something new at least once a month if not every day.
25. When someone says they want to do something nice for you, let them and be grateful. They rarely do.
24. You'll always think you're fatter than you are and thinner than you are.
23. There is never enough time. Repeat that. Two seconds just went by you'll never see again.
22. Today will never happen again.
21. If all you can give to someone is love and it's not returned, run away. Fast.
20. Every day I'm a better person than I was yesterday.
19. Forgive as much as possible.
18. Have an opinion and stick to it and most times keep it to yourself.
17. Be relentless in the love you have for yourself. It's contagious.
16. Create lists of goals. They will manifest themselves eventually.
15. Not everyone likes a Picasso, but it's valuable regardless. Same goes for you.
14. The death of your most beloved is the hardest thing you'll ever go through. Give yourself time. You will get through it.
13. If you really want it bad enough you can make it happen.
12. Everyone has something to contribute to the world. Never underestimate your worth. The world needs your gifts. Publish your book.
11. Every day you are alive is special. So are the people in it. Be grateful. Tell them.
10. Be curious about everything and ask questions.
9. Don't fucking call me Daddy. UH.
8. Let people see you.
7. I'm in the best shape of my life. I was once 50 pounds heavier. I'm fucking 40.
6. Let your heart feel unrelenting love with reckless abandon. You might get hurt, but it will be worth it. You learn.
5. Some people look like superheroes, others act like one. Take the latter over the former. They rarely come together. If they come together, take that one. Especially if it's Batman. If it's Batman, make him do a trick before you believe him.
4. Everyone has an intuitive inside voice. Listen to it the first time. ALWAYS. If it speaks out loud go to a shrink.
3. There is no fish that anyone has ever made me that I liked unless it was fried or slathered in mayo. Stop trying to make fish happen. It's not gonna happen.
2. Fuck your mind. Follow your heart.
1. All anyone wants in this world is Love.