That was my reaction every time I had to get up for my firstborn -- which was roughly every two hours.
Nobody told me it would be that hard. Having my first baby was probably the biggest shock to my system... I felt like I had been through a high-speed washing machine cycle.
It took me months to straighten out all the wrinkles... months after which -- bam -- baby number 2 arrived.
So here I am with two adorable little girls and a long list of things that I miss about my old life.
Waking up because of the sun... never mind, in London there is no sun Waking up because of my alarm clock at 6:00 a.m. not because of a baby who wants to comfort feed at 10:00 p.m., 12:00 a.m., 2:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m., and finally at 6:00 a.m. Oh and also at 3:00 a.m. because of a toddler who wants milk. Showering without an audience Showering for more than 5 minutes Going to the bathroom when I need to instead of when both kids are napping... Well, sometimes, I do, and then... I miss using the bathroom without four little eyes staring at me Reading real books without flaps, music, or pictures Reading an article (hell, even a headline) in one sitting Sending messages and emails with correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation Not knowing who Peppa the Pig or Spot the Dog are Listening to my own music instead of Little Baby Bum and Mother Goose Club nursery rhymes... all day long Not humming tunes in my head of all the songs my toddler listens to Eating out of my own plate -- uninterrupted -- instead of eating leftovers from my toddler's hands while I nurse a baby The days when my phone and iPad belonged to me and I could use them without fear of being mugged by a toddler Cooking full meals instead of ordering pizza Having those meals go down well with an adult audience instead of thrown back at me in disgust by a toddler Waking up next to my husband and not next to one of the babies Waking up without a little foot on my face or a head digging into my back Going out to shop and not because the kids need fresh air and a walk Talking to my husband about things other than poop, food, and kids schedules Talking to anyone about anything other than poop, food, and kids schedules Actually, any human interaction with someone taller than 2 feet. Staying up late without worrying about having to wake up early the next morning A house that stays clean and organized for more than one hour Reading in bed before sleeping instead of crashing on the couch from exhaustion Going out to dinner at 8:00 p.m. instead of going to bed by then Leaving the house with a small purse instead of a large bag with a supermarket and pharmacy inside Nobody giving me advice about every little child-related thing Traveling with only a carry-on instead of a check in luggage, a carry-on, a purse, a food bag, a stroller, a stuffed animal, and a blankie Making restaurant reservations based on when we want to eat and not based on nap schedules Walking around the house without tripping on legos Wearing clothes that stay clean the WHOLE... ENTIRE... DAYSLEEEEEEEEP
The funny thing about this seemingly constant state of sleep deprivation I'm in, though, is that I can't possibly imagine a better alternative.
Maybe it's the lack of sleep talking
But maybe... having kids really is that wonderful... lack of sleep and all.