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40 Things I Miss Now I Am a Mother of 'Two Under Two'

Nobody told me it would be that hard. Having my first baby was probably the biggest shock to my system... I felt like I had been through a high-speed washing machine cycle. It took me months to straighten out all the wrinkles... months after which -- bam -- baby number 2 arrived.
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Former business consultant turned mama, writer, and cookbook author

Former business consultant turned mama, writer, and cookbook author
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What the *$&£$ ??

That was my reaction every time I had to get up for my firstborn -- which was roughly every two hours.

Nobody told me it would be that hard. Having my first baby was probably the biggest shock to my system... I felt like I had been through a high-speed washing machine cycle.

It took me months to straighten out all the wrinkles... months after which -- bam -- baby number 2 arrived.

So here I am with two adorable little girls and a long list of things that I miss about my old life.

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To name but a few:

  1. Sleep

  • Sleeping

  • Waking up because of the sun... never mind, in London there is no sun

  • Waking up because of my alarm clock at 6:00 a.m. not because of a baby who wants to comfort feed at 10:00 p.m., 12:00 a.m., 2:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m., and finally at 6:00 a.m. Oh and also at 3:00 a.m. because of a toddler who wants milk.

  • Showering without an audience

  • Showering for more than 5 minutes

  • Going to the bathroom when I need to instead of when both kids are napping... Well, sometimes, I do, and then...

  • I miss using the bathroom without four little eyes staring at me

  • Reading real books without flaps, music, or pictures

  • Reading an article (hell, even a headline) in one sitting

  • Sending messages and emails with correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation

  • Not knowing who Peppa the Pig or Spot the Dog are

  • Listening to my own music instead of Little Baby Bum and Mother Goose Club nursery rhymes... all day long

  • Not humming tunes in my head of all the songs my toddler listens to

  • Eating out of my own plate -- uninterrupted -- instead of eating leftovers from my toddler's hands while I nurse a baby

  • Wearing heels

  • Sleeping

  • The days when my phone and iPad belonged to me and I could use them without fear of being mugged by a toddler

  • Cooking full meals instead of ordering pizza

  • Having those meals go down well with an adult audience instead of thrown back at me in disgust by a toddler

  • Waking up next to my husband and not next to one of the babies

  • Waking up without a little foot on my face or a head digging into my back

  • Going out to shop and not because the kids need fresh air and a walk

  • Talking to my husband about things other than poop, food, and kids schedules

  • Talking to anyone about anything other than poop, food, and kids schedules

  • Actually, any human interaction with someone taller than 2 feet.

  • Being on time

  • Staying up late without worrying about having to wake up early the next morning

  • An empty laundry basket

  • An empty sink

  • A house that stays clean and organized for more than one hour

  • Reading in bed before sleeping instead of crashing on the couch from exhaustion

  • Going out to dinner at 8:00 p.m. instead of going to bed by then

  • Leaving the house with a small purse instead of a large bag with a supermarket and pharmacy inside

  • Nobody giving me advice about every little child-related thing

  • Traveling with only a carry-on instead of a check in luggage, a carry-on, a purse, a food bag, a stroller, a stuffed animal, and a blankie

  • Making restaurant reservations based on when we want to eat and not based on nap schedules

  • Walking around the house without tripping on legos

  • Wearing clothes that stay clean the WHOLE... ENTIRE... DAY

  • SLEEEEEEEEP

    • The funny thing about this seemingly constant state of sleep deprivation I'm in, though, is that I can't possibly imagine a better alternative.

    Maybe it's the lack of sleep talking

    But maybe... having kids really is that wonderful... lack of sleep and all.

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