When I was 23, I drove my parents' beat-up turquoise van to all 48 contiguous United States. Don't ask.

If I learned one thing, it's that America has a lot of crazy/hilarious/accidentally dirty signs (I'll let you decide which is which). I can't in good conscience promise that each of following is the best sign from each state... but it's probably in the running.

And no, I didn't take all these; I took some of them, but I Can Has Cheezburger? and BaconBabble deserve credit for some of the others.

Alabama

One letter makes all the difference...

Arizona

Arkansas

I promise, not all these are dirty...

California

...OK, one more.

Colorado

Brown is a color.

Connecticut

Fake, but I couldn't resist.

Delaware

Florida

Georgia

And church.

Idaho

Illinois

?

Indiana

Iowa

Sadly, the most exciting thing I was in all of Iowa.

Kansas

Kentucky

Louisianna

But less fortunate guys can apply too.

Maine

Maryland

Massachusetts

Algonquin for "Long-ass sign"

Michigan

Minnesota

Mississippi

Missouri

Everyone else pays full price, I guess.

Montana

Signs of the much-ignored Montana/North Dakota feud.

Nebraska

Nevada

New Hampshire

Not so much.

New Jersey

New Mexico

New York

Not there! Anywhere but there!

North Carolina

North Dakota

Chief competitor to "Fuel N Feed" and "Guzzle N Blow".

Ohio

Oklahoma

Oregon

Pennsylvania

A little bit sexist... and little bit racist... Perfect.

Rhode Island

South Carolina

South Dakota

Tennessee

???

Texas

Photo by Don Bustamonte

Utah

In Utah, it's always opposite day.

Vermont

It's subtle...

Virginia

Washington

West Virginia

Wisconsin

This sign is stolen 3-4 times per year. No, seriously.

Wyoming