The GOP primary debate Thursday was a spectacle made for late-night TV. It's no wonder Hillary Clinton, arguably the winner in absentia, preferred to hang out with Kim Kardashian and husband Kanye West as the whole thing went down.
From Republican front-runner Donald Trump's predictably awful comments on immigration (he wants to build a wall with a "big beautiful door" in the center), to a competition between all 10 to prove who could be most anti-abortion, to the details of each guy's cozy relationship with God, what they lacked in substance, the candidates made up by fueling the outrage machine we've grown accustomed to.
Didn't last night's circus make you long for the days when politicians were wonks or accountant types? When political debates were boring, because the candidates actually talked about policy and you didn't want to yank your hair out?
Here are a few of the politicians I'm feeling nostalgic for after last night's circus:
1. Ronald Reagan
I never thought I'd be saying this, but yes, Ronald Reagan. While the former president's name got thrown around during last night's debate, the candidates could probably use a reminder that this is what he actually sounded like in real life.
2. Al Gore
Getty, 2000
Remember that time during the 2000 election that Vice President Al Gore's campaign demanded that he kiss his wife Tipper on camera, just to show a little humanity? Yep, that's how boring and wonkish Gore was during the debates. (Al and Tipper have since gone their separate ways.)
3. John Kerry
Creative Commons
If the best ad hominem attack you an come up with is to call someone a "flip flopper," you've got a pretty wonkish, boring candidate on your hands. John Kerry was so lame when he ran against President George W. Bush that the Republicans had no choice but to make fun of the fact that he windsurfs. Windsurfs!
4. Mitt Romney
George Frey/Getty
Sure, Romney occasionally said embarrassing things he didn't mean to. But let's face it: he basically wasn't that entertaining, especially compared to this season's crop of candidates. And he at least tried to talk about policy when given the chance. Who ever thought we'd miss that crash-test dummy with convincingly real hair?
5. George Pataki
Chip Somodevilla/Getty
Ok, so the former New York governor is still technically in the race for the GOP nomination, but as a recent National Journal piece hilariously pointed out, he has no chance. And that's literally because he's too boring. The guy doesn't have a single policy initiative that sets him apart as a candidate, but that doesn't prevent him from touring the country giving lukewarm speeches.
Here's to the old ways!