Forget the "rules" about dating. There are no hard and fast rules for getting to know someone better, but there are some easy mistakes you can avoid to ensure you won't send him off and running or give her the cold shoulder and lose your chances with someone great. According to data collected from Relationup, an app that provides live, anonymous relationship advice, 68% of their users seeking advice about new relationships want help managing the beginning phase of the relationship.
Here are five common mistakes people make in the dating process, why they don't work, and some tips for how to overcome them.
Over- or under-texting. If all you want to do is send texts to your crush all day long, let's face it: you might be needy. You come alive with the intensity of a new relationship and may need a lot of reassurance, but over-texting isn't going to help. Send too much too fast can easily overwhelm the receiver. Their desire to text may not match yours, which can lead you to overanalyze the situation and worry. However, if you tend to be guarded and don't want to show your cards too quickly, step up and make sure that you reciprocate and initiate some texts as well. If you don't respond or send a few flirts here and there, you may come across aloof and give the impression that you're not as interested as you really are.
Rushing into things after a hook-up. More and more, hook-ups are becoming a common way to meet someone. Sometimes, that one-night stand results in the couple never having contact again. However, some hook-ups mark the beginning of a budding relationship. Remember, physical intimacy doesn't mean you are necessarily close and connected. Following a single fling, take time to get to know the other person and see what direction it takes, if any.
Replacing live conversations with texts. Don't fight or make apologies over texts. Texts are too ambiguous and misinterpretations can easily happen. Do the old-fashioned thing and pick up the phone (if you were texting, it's already in your hand) and even leave a message if you have to. The tone of your voice helps set a context for what you are saying. Your humility, sincerity and willingness to work through a problem will come through when you talk to each other directly and repairing any damage made will be quick and painless.
Ignoring your inner voice. If you're wondering whether you've got enough in common, are truly attracted or have chemistry, most likely, this is a sign that you and your partner aren't compatible. Be careful not to discount red flags and doubts just because it feels so good to be in the throes of passion. You may waste time in a sub-par relationship trying to make something work that just won't.
Worrying about exclusivity and commitment. It is common at the beginning of a relationship for people to be dating multiple partners. Online profiles are not shut down until a person knows that he or she wants to be exclusive. Until committed, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat accounts might be frequented by old flames or friends with benefits (and maybe even after you're Facebook-official). Assume that the person you're going out with is seeing others. Try and be easygoing about needing exclusivity or initiating a commitment discussion too early. Manage your anxiety and do your best to cope with uncertainty while you are seeing where this goes.
Whether you've just hooked up or you're a few dates in, recognize that the beginnings of a relationship aren't easy. Making snap judgments about a person or fantasizing wildly about walking down the aisle are normal, but may not help you if you act on them.
Keep the above tips in mind and try to stay cool about your feelings. Remember, you are just getting to know each other and not everyone is going to be a perfect match. That's why it's so special when you find "the one."