5 Reasons To Let Go Of Someone You Never Wanted To Say Goodbye To

Originally published on Unwritten by Isabelle Zanzer.

If there's one thing you need to know about Aries, is the fact that they're fiercely loyal. 

It takes one to know one.

They  won't tear down friends, or divulge their secrets - ever.

If you ever hurt, cross or complain  about an Aries' friends, chances are they told you to sleep with your eyes open tonight. This is commonly where the ram in an Aries  comes out.

I have always considered my loyalty to be my greatest strength while so many referred to it as my weakest link.  

More often than not, I found myself in the midst of conversations where everyone warned me not to stay in friendships, relationships, and jobs longer than I should, because they knew I probably would. Which brings me to my next question,

when does loyalty become your enemy?

Sometimes, we hold on to people purely because we've known them for so long. Time can tie people together, but there comes a point where you just know, deep inside of your subconscious, that the relationship isn't benefiting you. In fact, it is doing the contrary. 

If you feel as though there's nothing substantial keeping you connected, time is not a strong enough reason to hold on to something that's simply no longer worth holding on.  

There was a time in my life where I realized I was too busy caring for others and forgot to pay the same attention to myself. I was there when my best friend got sick, helped to get a last-minute presentation up and running, or cooked for friends because they simply wanted to eat something homemade. Never have I stopped and thought, would they do the same for me? You're more than welcome to call me naïve, as I was exactly that. 

We grow complacent with people we feel we can be ourselves with. Hanging onto someone for the sake of it and because you don't know anything else is definitely not a good enough reason. But yet, we continue our merry-go-round of bad habits.

We refuse to let go out of fear of losing a part of ourselves. We refuse to let go for fear of losing our identity. We fear of letting go simply because we don't want to be alone.

As Coco Chanel once said, don't be afraid of anything but fear itself. And for those of you who need a little push as to why you need to let go of relationships that no longer make you happy, here are 5 reasons I hope will convince you:

1. You may be trustworthy and loyal, but they very well aren't.

One of my closest friends promised to visit me in my new city, someone who I haven't seen for a long time. Naturally, I was dying to see her. To share our inside jokes once again, laugh together and walk down memory lane on a casual Saturday afternoon. While my excitement overcame me, the weekend came and I heard nothing of her.

And here's what happened: She came for three days and only sent me a quick text on the third, asking if I was free, one which I only received hours later. While I would have understood any reason for her not having the time to meet, I couldn't grasp the idea that I was left at the last minute, without any notice of whether she actually made her trip in the first place.

If you know in your heart that you can't trust this person and he or she cannot be loyal, then you need to ask yourself why this person is in your life. Trust and loyalty are the foundation of any friendship and relationship, and when you're left as the last resort - you may need to question whether it's all worth it, no matter how strong your relationship was once upon a time was. 

2. Let go because you are unclear of where things stand.

I'm the kind of person that needs a sense of direction. I plan my day and overuse outdated posits to avoid forgetting replying to someone or doing something. But hey, that's just me. Engaging in an undefined friendship or relationship is confusing - to say the least. The worst feeling on this planet is to be left unsure of what you mean to the person, if anything at all. Someone once told me, "Be in the company of someone who won't gamble with your heart and mind simply because he or she knows you're not going anywhere." Guess what, you're never an option. And if someone makes you feel that way, I strongly suggest you start questioning that relationship.

Because you deserve better.

3. Let go of toxic relationship.

If the friendship/relationship is making you unhappy or miserable, it's time to bid the person farewell.  Emotional or physical abuse is never justified. Peer pressure isn't either. A person should simply love you for who you are, or they're not meant to be in your life. It's that simple.

4. Let go if he or she doesn't encourage you or believe in you.

If you find that your relationship isn't providing you with support or encouragement, think what this person is actually providing you. Surround yourself with people who believe in you more than believe in yourself. Positivity is actually contagious. So make sure that's the only emotion you catch.

5. Let go because you're simply not the same person anymore.

People, like everything in life, simply change. Whether good or bad, your priorities starts to differ, and what seemed important once, starts looking incremental. You may realize you want different things and no longer share the same interests, which is perfectly normal.

What's important is to understand that, unless some genius invents a time machine, good old times cannot be brought back. It's difficult to hold on to people in your life, whether it may be distance or not, but remember that you're destined to meet different people along your path who will make you laugh, cry, smile, hurt, or simply change your life for the better.

We all make mistakes and trust those who have hurt us far too many times. We all know what it feels like to be left feeling like a second hand toy. We all know - yet what do we about it? You're in charge of your happiness.

Truth be told, you know very well you're much better off spending the evening with
than people who would make you miserable.

Don't you agree?