COMEDY

5 Responsible Ways To Mock Everything

It's easy to fall into the trap of making bad jokes. There are thousands of pre-written responses for virtually any situation. There's clumsy sarcasm, "TMI," "That's What She Said," "ftw." And now dipshits can get jokes texted right to their phone to make their sense of humor EVEN BETTER. Want to see one? Here's the sample I was sent during a free trial of a joke-texting service:

"Husband: A man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shop"

Haha take that, Husband! I'm afraid I have to apologize to the readers. If I had known that joke was going to be so funny, I wouldn't have tried to use it to support my point. Aside from that unfortunate mistake, I still insist that humorless funnymen and idiot smartasses are attacking the foundations of laughter every day.

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