Sometimes, bigger isn't always better.
While many men and women love the idea of a big penis during sex, it can often be difficult to engage in intercourse or anal play.
"Just as we erroneously assume that bigger is always better, so do we often mistaken deeper penetration as a universal ideal. The reality, however, is that shallow penetration can be more desirable," says Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, creator of the Sexual Pro Series Webinars and author of The New Sex Bible.
One report found that the "ideal" penis size according to women was actually bigger than the average penis size. The study found the preferred size was 6.3 inches or 6.4 inches for one-time encounters, while the average size for a man's package was 5.6 inches.
So while some women and men like the idea of a well-endowed man, it can sometimes leave one partner feeling embarrassed or intimidated, or both.
Below, we round up some tips on how to navigate an extra large package, as well as the best sex positions for ultimate pleasure.
Talk about your insecurities:
Whether you are the owner of the large penis or the partner, nobody wants to feel uncomfortable about their body. According to experts for Women's Health magazine, acknowledge the elephant in the room right away.
"You don’t want to embarrass the guy since he may already be sensitive about his size — but it’s a good idea to be upfront and honest," certified sex therapist Kat Van Kirk told the magazine.
Compliment his size and suggest taking intercourse slower.
Go in with lube (and plenty of it):
Lube should be your number one go-to when it comes to painful sex. Sex toy company Lelo suggests applying it both to the head and shaft of the penis, as well as the vagina or anal opening.
"Help him glide in and make the entire passionate process a much simpler, and much, much more comfortable process," the site notes.
And foreplay is just as important. Make sure the two of you pleasure each other before bringing in the lube.
Speaking of foreplay...
Like we said before, foreplay is essential for getting used to large packages, so don't be shy about suggesting an extended foreplay session. Cosmo notes that women should explain to their partners that they need foreplay to lubricate and expand.
"If he still doesn't spend time stroking, arousing and exciting you before penetration, find a new partner!"
Don't expect perfect sex:
Pop culture and some porn make us believe bigger penises mean better sex, but as Women's Health magazine notes, this is not always true.
“Sometimes men with big penises think that's all they need to be a gratifying lover, but a big penis doesn't guarantee more orgasms," New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner told the magazine.
If things don't work, talk to an expert:
If practice doesn't result in orgasms for the both of you, it may be time to get help, especially if you are continuously having painful sex.
The Date Report says your doctor can rule out any other medical issues you should be concerned about.
And below, O’Reilly shares some of the best sex positions for big penises from The New Sex Bible.
"As your bodies form the shape of a tee, this unique angle creates a sensation like no other with minimal exertion on your part," O'Reilly writes.
- She lies on her back with her knees bent and her feet spread apart flat on the mattress.
- He lies on his side at a right angle to her body (to form the top of the tee) and slides his body under the bridge of her bent legs.
- She presses her hips up slightly as he slides in from beneath her. As they rock and thrust in rhythm, their fingers can dance over her clit or they can hold hands and gaze into one another’s eyes.
"Ladies: cross your legs and squeeze! Not only will you awaken the core muscles involved in orgasm, but as you squeeze his cock between your warm, wet thighs, the snug fit will create extra friction against his shaft and your tender inner lips."
"This position is designed for uninhibited lovers and women who love to flaunt their best assets in his face. Though the depth of penetration may be shallower than other positions, he surely won’t complain as she shoves her nipples between his eager lips," she writes.
- He lies on his back on the ground and pops his hips up as he slides his legs onto a bed or couch. Since much of his weight will be supported by his shoulder, he may want to place a few pillows beneath his neck and back for support.
- She climbs atop on all fours allowing her breasts to hang or press into his face.
- She can control the angle, depth, motion and speed of penetration as well as the degree of contact between his face and her chest.
For heterosexual men, O'Reilly suggests spreading her butt cheeks with your palms and running a finger along her perineum between her fourchette and pucker.
"This challenging position has it all: the excitement of rear-entry, the mystery of 'blind sex,' the sensual bumping of butts and the option for dual stimulation of her G-Spot," she writes.
- She lies flat on her stomach with her head in the upper right corner of the bed.
- He lies on his stomach on top of her with his head kitty-corner to hers in the lower left corner of the bed. His legs stretch out on either side of her and their positioning deprives them of eye contact and exchange of facial expressions to facilitate “blind sex."
- They both pop their hips upward far enough for his penis to angle backward comfortably and slide inside.
- Gradually, they slide away from one another simultaneously and then back toward one another allowing their butts to bump gently as they find their perfect rhythm.
If you are trying this position, be careful. "To facilitate entry, be sure to angle your hips upward so that his penis doesn’t bend at an uncomfortable angle," she says. Penises can and do break (the tunic that encapsulates the spongy erectile tissue can tear, O'Reilly says), so take extra precaution when doing this move.
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