So you've got a new beau and you're trying to decide if you should take your budding bond to the next level... in the bedroom. Sure, he's hot and the scenes playing out in your head make you want to high tail it to your place. But is this guy really sex-mate material?
Great sex, at least the kind you want to have more than once with the same person, isn't just about having skills. That kind of hotness between the sheets grows cold fast. Really memorable partners are all about tuning into your needs and being willing to please in all the right places.
Thankfully, there are some signs that your new love interest is worthy of becoming your next lover. Let's see if your new hunk looks promising for the role.
Sign 1: He's a Gentleman
In love and sex, it's the small things that matter. Does he open doors for you, pull out your chair, call to check in about your day, remember to ask about your big work project? All are signs that he's thinking about you. If he's a thoughtful gentleman out of the bedroom, you can bet that treatment will continue once the lights are out.
Sign 2: He Knows How to Touch You
Guys who are into sex purely for sex's sake often save touching for one purpose, to score. A great lover is one who values sensuality both in and out of the bedroom. So if you're seeing a guy who touches your hand across the table at dinner, feels the small of your back as you walk through a hallway or holds your hand as you stroll through the park... that guy will know how to touch all of you.
Sign 3: It's Not Always About Him
For some men, it's always about them. What happened in their day, where they want to eat and what movie they want to see. Can you see where this is heading? But a guy who asks you about your day first, goes to your favorite restaurant even if he's not a huge fan of that type of food... or cuddles on the couch for a chick-flick? Now that guy will make your happiness a priority both in and out of bed!
Sign 4: He's Not in a Rush
Guys who are more interested in your body than in you, well, they want to get in the sack in a rush. Join him there too quick and you'll be a flash in his pan. A man who is truly interested in being your lover knows that you are worth a little wait. He actually wants to savor the build up because he plans on sticking around. So, if he says, "Let's wait" or "I'm not in a rush," know that he's willing to invest in his lovemaking.
Sign 5: He Makes You Feel Beautiful
Mind blowing sex is all about feeling free to be your uninhibited self because you know that your partner appreciates you. The kind of man who will make you feel that way is free with his compliments -- building you up with each little thing he notices about you that he likes. Even the way he looks at you will make you feel smart, sexy and attractive. That kind of chemistry smolders in bed and bursts into flame.
How does your guy stack up? By paying attention to how he treats you out of bed, you'll be clued into how he's apt to treat you in bed. If all systems are a go, he just might make your next best lover.
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Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D., is a relationship psychologist and dating coach. Her passion is coaching singles in Authentic Attraction so they can step into their best self and attract the kind of love that lasts a lifetime. She's also an expert in helping singles dissolve the deepest obstacles that keep them from creating fulfilling relationships. After meeting her husband through Internet dating, she now enjoys assisting singles in finding real love online. Her work has been frequently featured in Cosmo & Happen Mag, as well as Redbook, Women's Day, the John Tesh Show, and others. Find out how to become a Mate Magnet by taking her quizzes at mysoulmatesolution.com and meetyourmateonline.com.