As a coach, I talk with many stressed-out women. Just picture me as the "burned-out woman magnet."
And from the bottom of my heart, I love talking to you ladies.
I get so psyched when I talk to you because I'm so proud of your accomplishments. So proud of how much you have done. So proud of how responsible you are and how hard you work. So impressed by how thoughtful and respectful you are. So amazed at how far you have come.
I might even feel prouder about your accomplishments than you do.
That's one problem I see in you, amazing ladies.
You don't value yourself as much as you really should. ( "Should" is one of the poison words I coach my clients not to use, but in this context I'm going to use it.)
You "should" honor yourselves because you are truly awesome.
And I'm going to keep on telling you until you get it.
I've said this before and I'll say it over and over again: If you don't value yourself, who else will?
It has to start with you.
You have to value yourself first in order to be valued by others.
If you feel like no one listens to your opinion at work, ask yourself, "Do I value myself? Do I think my opinion matters?"
When you are on the verge of burning out, you are not showing up as the bold and fun person you used to be. Often, you become the complete opposite of the person you want to be. You are stressed, bitter, grumpy, tired, jealous, and unhappy.
It takes a little work to get out of that rut. That's why you should start now, before you are completely burned out and have no energy to spare.
- You might write, "I don't want to be tired at work."
- Or, "I don't want to be afraid of speaking up at work."
- For example, "I want to feel calm at work."
- Or, "I want to be respected at work."
- First, write out how you can achieve it. Think through what steps you would take to make that happen.
- Next, break it down to small steps. Every small step counts. Don't dismiss just because you think it's a tiny step that seems unimportant.
- Yes, I want you to read your "wants-list" and the plan to get them out loud. "I want ... (insert your wants here)."
- Next, say, "Here's how I'm going to achieve my goals."
- Doing this ritual in the morning will set the tone for the day. Experience the power of positive affirmation!
- Share your desires with them and describe how you want to be.
- Ask your trusted friends for their input and support.
- Set a date to check-in with them to update your progress. Remember it's okay to ask for help!
Nozomi Morgan, MBA, is a certified Executive Coach and the Founder and President of Michiki Morgan Worldwide LLC. Addition to coaching, she speaks and trains on leadership, career, professional development and cross-cultural business communication.