5 Subtle Traits of Quiet Confidence

It's long been said that everybody is attracted to "quiet confidence." But in the age of YouTube and continual self-broadcast across a thousand social media channels, how can a "quietly confident" woman even be seen or heard?
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We are the quietest of countries; we are the loudest of countries.

On the one hand, our New England ancestors wore modest names like Prudence, Chastity and Constance. Long silent prayer meetings have dotted the Pennsylvania landscape for centuries. "Good old fashioned values" counsel hard work, quiet fortitude and humility.

Even our most robust of Presidents often quoted the African proverb, "Speak softly, but carry a big stick."

On the other hand, we are the country of the now mythic rebel yell; the locomotive scream, the carnival barker, P.T. Barnum, foam-mouthed hate radio and now, Donald Trump.

It's long been said that everybody is attracted to "quiet confidence."

But in the age of YouTube and continual self-broadcast across a thousand social media channels, how can a "quietly confident" woman even be seen or heard?

It's not as dire as you might think -- even though the shouters and prancers seem to be getting all the attention.

Despite surges in attention, it's becoming clear that the internet is an "Eventual Karma" machine -- and that the truth about us all comes out, if not sooner, then, later.

And the appeal of quiet confidence has not faded. Here are 10 quick tips to convey that you are a woman of your word, of character and of solidity in an age of clicks, beeps and rants...

Quiet Confidence Trait #1: Quietly Praise Others

While most people are praising themselves, taking flattering selfies and unhumbly posting "humble brags," call attention to the accomplishments and character of others.

This subtle action conveys quiet confidence - and gives a sometimes well-needed boost in confidence to those around you.

Quiet Confidence Trait #2: Quietly Fess Up When You Mess Up -- and Stake a New Direction

We all get duped or make mistakes. Ain't nobody perfect.

But the woman who admits cleanly that she's led people in the wrong direction or trusted the wrong person or made a poor decision -- cleanly and without histrionics -- then simply says, "here's my new commitment" -- and then follows it... this is a trustable woman.

In addition, when you admit a mistake, you gain valuable insight into the character of the people in your life and how they truly feel about you. Are they forgiving? Or do they hold your mistake over you like a scimitar?

Quiet Confidence Trait #3: Quietly Sidestep Insulting Others

It's tempting. Especially in election seasons. Our emotions want us to lay on the insults, the outrage, the self-righteous rants.

But a quietly confident woman can hold on to her convictions and make her case with balance and respect. The goal is not to draw attention to the self or seem "right" but merely to add something
intelligent and useful to the conversation.

As always, quiet confidence isn't about shining a spotlight on yourself, it's about illuminating the way forward as best one is able.

Quiet Confidence Trait #4: Quietly Get Mentorship

Confident women aren't afraid of being vulnerable and filling in knowledge gaps from people who may know better.

Blustery people act as if they know everything. They devalue the opinions and help of others. Ancient wisdom, on the other hand, teaches us "the wise learn something from every person they meet."

Quiet Confidence Trait #5: Quietly State Your Case

Most great writers are friends of the noun and less so of the adjective; a well chosen noun doesn't need the scaffolding of adjectival dressing.

So too the speech of a quietly confident woman. There is power in sparseness.

Best Selling Author, Emmy-Nominated Producer, Screenwriter and Entrepreneur, Adam Gilad leads a community of over 80,000 men and women on their quest to create love and a bold, inspired life. Having served as a Stanford Humanities Center Graduate Research Fellow and host of National Lampoon Radio, Adam blends a bracing mix of research, humor and global wisdom traditions to help men and women break through the habits blocking their ability to open into love and freedom.

He's a regular contributor to Vixen Daily in the Personal Development and Inspiration section.

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