5 Things I Wish People Would Stop Saying About Our Struggle To Conceive

Your time will come.

My husband and I have been struggling to conceive for over two years now. Not being able to get pregnant has left me feeling broken month after month. While I don’t expect many people to fully understand what we are going through, I do get frustrated hearing the same things over and over.

Below are the 5 most common things people say, and I wish they wouldn’t.

Are you pregnant yet?

No, I am not pregnant yet, but thank you for reminding me. Believe me, when I finally do get pregnant, you will know.

Your time will come.

Yes, hopefully someday it will. But I was hoping my time would come over two years ago, when we first started trying, and I was watching everyone around me posting pictures of their cute little baby bumps, and their precious little ones coming home from the hospital. Sure my time will come…but I want this now. I am beyond ready to become a biological mother.

Have you considered IVF?

Do you have $15,000 that I can have? Because that is the average cost of IVF. One day, if it has to come down to it, I will definitely find a way to pay for it, but as of right now unless I win the lotto, it’s not going to happen.

Have you looked into adoption?

Adoption is also expensive. I’d love to adopt, and sometimes I think maybe I was put in this situation because I am supposed to adopt at some point in my life. But I really want to try for a biological child too.

Relax. Stop trying and it will happen.

This is the one that irks me the most. Stop trying? I watch TV and see commercials for pregnancy tests and diapers. I go to the store, and walk by cute little Christmas outfits for toddlers. My co- workers are having babies, my family members are having babies. I am surrounded. How am I supposed to just “stop trying” for something that I want more than anything? How am I supposed to relax? I’ve dreamed of being a mom for as long as I can remember.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate that my family and friends care. I obviously am willing to talk about our struggle with conceiving and am not embarrassed by it. I expect others to ask me the above questions.

What I really wish they would say is simply “I am here for you.” Sometimes I just feel like I need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.

CONVERSATIONS