We all know that Tinder can be a destructive force -- ruining confidence, romance, courtship and notions of sonnet-style love and soul-matery. But what about what it's doing to your face? Yes, that's right. Tinder is making you ugly. This may sound extreme (and we know all about extremes) but in our selfie-smitten culture, it seems to be what people respond to (remember when the anti-smoking industry gave up on telling us our lungs were rotting and switched to pointing out the wrinkles smoking causes?) Exactly. You can mess with my heart, my mind, my head, but whatever happens, DO NOT mess with my face. Do you hear that Tinder? So here it is, 5 ways Tinder is messing with your face.
1. Random Bruising
Ever been lost in a sweet swiping reverie and come across a d*ck pic so nasty, that you had to shield your eyes, FAST? Your lightning fast reactions, coupled with your punk-rocker-ring results in an unintentional slap to the forehead. Followed by an unsightly purplish egg-shaped gash on your eyebrow. You're not alone, sister.
2. Traps the Ugly
This is no joke. Tinder truly is messing with your face. For all of your phone's flashy brilliance, there's a down side and they're called electromagnetic fields. These little suckers get absorbed by your skin and creep deep down into layers you cant even touch. SWIPE LEFT. You cant scrub this off. But apparently you can reach it with hyaluronic acid. Which Tinder do not make. But luckily, these guys do and its amazing. And they call themselves an "Abnormal Beauty Company" -- which we love.
3. Extra Frown Lines
Oh, the disappointment! You know the feeling -- that inner detective kicks in and your incredible sleuthing skills spot all those things just don't add up. Their height, their weight, their employment status, their relationship status. Or worse still. Tinder tried to match you with your ex. Your cousin. Your old teacher. Gross. Yep, those frown lines keep growing and seem to have set in on your face and may in fact, be permanent.
4. Blemishing You
Somethings are better hot. Salsa. Jacuzzis. Men. Unfortunately, your face is not one of those things. When your face heats up, things go awry. Pores get big. Big pores get dirty. Dirty pores make your skin misbehave. What's this got to do with your phone? Well, your phone is heating your face. And when a succession of hotties keep cropping up on screen, your face gets even hotter. Basically, your face is cracking under the pressure! You can thank Tinder for that big-ass blemish.
5. Battering Your Immunity
The longer you Tinder, the worse it gets. That's Tinder fatigue, and it's actually a real thing. Apparently, excessive electronics exposure weakens your immune system. So there's a reason dealing with Mr. Wrong, Mr. Wronger and Mr So-Wrong-It's-Right feels like an increasingly tiresome chore. You're exhausted!
Ok, so clearly we're joking but there's something to phones and our faces. Anita Sun, Co-founder of Dermovia 'Lace Your Face' tells it like it is "To be blunt; cell phones are filthy dirty - and that's not just a reference to what pops up on Tinder!". Think about all the places your phone goes and every surface it touches. Gross right? Anita recommends cleaning it regularly with a simple alcohol solution. Anita's full of little bursts of wisdom like this and has three more tips on how to overcome the beating from the Tinder ugly stick are pretty simple:
1. Put It Away
At night, your body's trying to repair. Give it a chance to by turning off your devices before you sleep. It's not impossible, promise!
2. Drink Magnetized Water
This will help heal, protect and strengthen against electromagnetic radiation. Foods like berries, turmeric, garlic, kale, cauliflower and sea kelp are good too.
3. Get Out!
Date the old fashioned way! Step away from your phone, head to a bar with your best girlfriend and show off that gorgeous skin glow of yours thanks to limiting your cell-phone use - and using great skincare!
So perhaps it's time to put down the phone and get back out into the real world and meet face to face, and do it with great skin!