Somehow, Selena Gomez hasn’t appeared on the cover of American Vogue, so instead of putting Blake Lively on there for the 19th time, Anna Wintour and company decided to finally give the pop star her moment in the sun.
That’s right: The magazine’s April issue is all about Gomez, all the time. In addition to the stunning photo spread shot by celebrity photographers Mert Alas and Marcus Piggot, the singer opens up in a candid interview about her struggles over the past year and her return to the spotlight.
Since taking a career break in late August, Gomez had largely withdrawn from the public eye. After a comeback appearance at the American Music Awards, she’s officially back, more honest than ever and ready to spill some tea about her own life in hopes that others can learn from her experiences.
Check out the top five most surprising things we learned from her Vogue interview below.
1. She goes to therapy five days a week.
After a 90-day rehab stay and a break from the spotlight to deal with mental health issues, Gomez reveals that she gravitated toward therapy during her recovery.
The “Heart Wants What It Wants” singer is a big proponent of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a technique that teaches patients how to “accept” uncomfortable thoughts in order to make it easier to change them. In the interview, the former Disney star reveals she now goes five times a week and encourages others to speak out about its benefits.
“DBT has completely changed my life. I wish more people would talk about therapy,” she said. “We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back; the girl who’s down ... We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.”
2. Only 17 people have her phone number.
Don’t expect to be getting a call from Selena anytime soon, squad members — Gomez is taking the less-is-more approach when it comes to technology these days.
She’s already been vocal about her distaste for social media — despite being the most popular celebrity on Instagram — but did you know that she barely uses her phone? Instead, Gomez prefers to go on long drives with girlfriends, who apparently include “a realtor, a techie, some folks from church.”
“I think 17 people have my phone number right now,” she said. “Maybe two are famous.”
3. She can still shade the hell out of Justin Bieber.
During the interview, Selena is approached by young fans asking for autographs and photos. Of course, she obliges, but not before slipping in some primo Bieber shade. Remember, Gomez’s ex, Justin Bieber, is famously very bothered when fans approach him in real life.
“Somebody I used to hang out with would always get very frustrated with me,” she said. “But I have a hard time saying no to children.”
4. Panic attacks became a regular thing on her Revival tour.
Gomez has been open about struggling to perform on her Revival tour, even posting a message on Instagram after a concert about feeling “unauthentic.” She went on to cancel the rest of the tour dates before seeking treatment in rehab, but we never knew what Gomez faced every night onstage until now.
“Tours are a really lonely place for me,” Gomez explained. “My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it — which, I think, was a complete distortion.
5. Her biggest wish is for people to forget about her.
She may be on the cover of Vogue, but Gomez still craves anonymity after living most of her life in the public eye. If she had her wish, one day we’d all forget about her and move on to the next big thing.
“Look, I love what I do, and I’m aware of how lucky I am, but — how can I say this without sounding weird?” she said. “I just really can’t wait for people to forget about me.”
To read the full interview with Gomez, head over to Vogue.