Do you feel like the world is running ahead of you sometimes? Maybe you can't keep up with the fast pace of our digital world? Or do you feel like you will just never get there, wherever there is?
Finding yourself at rock bottom can be very confronting, and it can be hard to work out how you can climb back on top of things. One of the biggest problems we face as human beings is our tendency to live in our heads. We find it hard to separate events from our reaction to those events, and we are excellent at catastrophizing!
We all have automatic ways of behaving, reacting to stuff, thinking and habits we get into, some of these good and some not so good for us. Have you stopped lately and looked at this in your life? It can really help your wellbeing and your success, if you take time to consider the ways you are thinking and behaving, and decide what is helpful and unhelpful, what needs to change and what you want to keep steady.
Here are five things you need to stop doing right now to improve your wellbeing.
1) Comparing Yourself to Others
This can be hard to do, especially as there are more and more opportunities with social media for you to start to wonder if you are in the right place at the right time. Images and stories on social media show people making it, getting hold of their dreams, telling you that you just have to get out of bed, turn up and kick ass and the world will be yours.
The sad thing is that the idea of "making it" is usually measured by money, fame and popularity and now, by how many blog visitors, likes and followers you have online. I was thinking the other day that instead of "likes" on social media, we need some other word. I haven't worked out what yet, but maybe it is more about understanding each other and being on the same page, because having "likes" implies that there are those who are "unliked" and popularity contests have never been my favorite thing.
I see success as more about engaging with each other and celebrating each other's achievements. When you can look at a competitor and celebrate their achievements, you will be a far happier and more balanced human being, and will achieve your own success far more easily.
Stop comparing and start celebrating your peers and competitors, and success will come more easily.
2) Staying Where You Are Unhappy
Whether this be in a relationship, a job or some other situation, if you are unhappy either sort out the problem and make it better, or accept it and change your attitude, or GET OUT. Making change in your life is in your control and it is time to stop staying where you are miserable. Life is short, grab it with both hands. If you are unable to change the situation, instead change your attitude, your approach to every day and some of the conditions of the situation.
The best time to make a change is right NOW -- take the leap.
Have you noticed lately that every time you ask someone how they are they say "oh so busy!" It is like we have fallen into some hamster wheel and we all think we need to pedal faster and faster and faster, or we will be seen as out of the race. It is a challenge, yet when you stay mindful and realize one thing -- there is always something more to do -- then you can stop and stay focussed on the tasks at hand, and leave the rest for another day.
Do what you can in the moment, have good plans, then let it go and work on what you can manage. That is all you can do.
4) Making Vague Goals, Unrealistic Goals, or no Goals at all
Before any goal setting you need to clarify what values are underlying your goals. Values are the directions you stick to always, if you value something you will usually stay true to that your whole life, but goals are what you want to achieve along the way. Your values hold you steady, remind you of the reasons you are on the road. The goals are like the river or mountain or valley you will aim to cross whilst traveling in that direction to your destination.
Write down a graduated series of goals, starting from tiny simple goals that can be achieved right away, to long term goals that may not be achieved for months or years.
Here is a guide to the types of goals to set:
What will you do today or tomorrow, in the next few weeks, the next few months and the next few years?
The most important part of being able to give to other human beings and have a life filled with good stuff, is to care for yourself. You need to care for you, just as if you were a child who needs protection, nurturing and love.This means taking time out to assess your current health, wellbeing and self care:
- Are you eating well?
- Regularly exercising?
- Spending time with loved ones?
- Following your hobbies and dreams?
- Practicing mindfulness and relaxation?
- Getting enough sleep?
- Participating in activities that give back to others? (Yes this is key to flourishing in life.)
Stopping to take time out to look at where you are with your life, the ways you are behaving and thinking, the roads you are choosing to travel, is not a luxury and it is not selfish. Life is short. It is not always easy. It can be magnificent and amazing and wonderful, but unless you tend to your garden it will wither and die.
Be sure to give it some love and watch you and your life flourish.
Helen is a blogger, social media consultant, author & wellbeing coach in Adelaide Australia. Sign up for her tips and inspiration at www.recycledinteriors.org.