So, my boyfriend and I were settling down in our small two bedroom apartment for a cozy movie night. We were excited to snuggle on the couch, hit play on Bruce Almighty, eat our gourmet dinner of Taco Bell gorditas and catch a little buzz with the most inexpensive box o’ Chardonnay we could find.
Just as Jim Carey started to brighten our living room with his hysterical, elastic face and wit, my boyfriend and I started chatting about out monthly bills. He didn’t feel like talking about the bills right now, but I was adamant that we take care of them at that exact second. I kept talking, he kept ignoring. I started talking louder, he physically moved away. I started yelling, he returned the favor.
I was frustrated he wasn’t listening, and he was frustrated I wouldn’t stop talking. Sound familiar?
So, I took the most obvious action of any tried and true ex-softball player. I got up from the couch, walked over to the kitchen table, took a glug of wine, and furiously swooped up my warm, cheesy gordita in my right hand. I raised my arm…took aim…and chucked the taco right at my unsuspecting boyfriend’s head!
As if in slow-motion, I stared at the gordita flying through the air like an F-16 fighter jet, dropping pieces of shredded lettuce and ground beef like little ‘what did I just do’ bombs, and finally exploding into the wall right behind my boyfriend’s head.
Ughh…
As you may have guessed – my taco throwing tactic did not work. Instead of calming down and finally listening to me - he got angrier and walked out. We didn’t get to finish our date and I never found out how Bruce became Almighty – but I did finish the box o’ Chardonnay.
Since that fateful night over 13 years ago, my boyfriend and I learned new ways to communicate and solve our problems – and I’m happy to say we’re still together and married with two beautiful children. Luckily, I learned my lesson quickly #no-throwing-tacos@husbands-head-when-angry.
Instead, I have found some other solutions that I’d like to share with you. Throwing these things at your husband will actually improve your marriage and not leave a hot sauce cheesy mess!
Here you go…alternative solutions to throwing a taco at your husband’s head…
- Throw Him A Bone: I know...I know you don’t feel like you need to say thank you every time he takes out the trash, washes a dish or mows the lawn. Afterall, it did take him a six pack of beers and 5 hours for him to actually finish each of those tasks. But do it anyways. Let your hubby know that you do appreciate him and remember to say thank you for even the most mundane tasks - who knows he might starting doing more without you even asking (or nagging).
- Throw Him A Compliment: Yes, men like to be told that their hair looks nice, that their jeans makes their butt look good or that they are the strongest man in the world. Don’t hold back, think of all the reasons you fell in love with your husband and remind him (and yourself) every day with a nice little compliment.
- Throw Him A Football: If the fall season reminds you that you will lose your husband for 1 or 2 full days a weekend - it’s time to join in. Show interest in his passions by watching the game with him, scream at the players, eat some buffalo wings, and chug a Miller Lite. If football is not his thing, no problem. Figure out what is and experience it with him. Believe me – the favor will be returned.
- Throw Him His Masculinity: In the words of Beyonce, “Who Runs the World (Girls).” True…but as we women are ruling the world we often take on some masculine qualities, such as control, aggression and impatience. These are not bad qualities at work, but can be damaging in a relationship. If you always take control, then there is no reason for your husband to do anything (plus he’ll probably feel as if he does it wrong when he does try). Here’s an idea, let go of some control. Let your husband bathe the kids the way he wants to, or fold the laundry in halves instead of thirds. It may not be exactly how you would’ve done it – but it’s done and your husband feels good about it! Then stand back and watch as your husband starts taking on more and more responsibility and feels more confident than ever. Warning – your husband will become sexier than ever – so the next tactic will be even more fun!
- Throw Him Your Undies (Right off your body): I think you know what I’m talking about. Seriously, he doesn’t care if you are throwing him your best lace lingerie, you granny undies, or your oh so obvious suck-me-ins - he just wants YOU! Stop making the old and worn-out “I’m tired” or “We just don’t have time” excuses and start making love. He wants it and you both NEED it!
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