Valentine's day can be a real head-trip for many of us. Single's can feel the pressure of not having a partner with whom to share this day of love. Those in a relationship can feel the pressure of social expectation, wondering if their partner's going to let them down. Both positions can be emotionally perilous.
Here are five tips to combat any negative messages you may receive this season:
1. Keep Valentine's Day in perspective:
It's 1 day out of 365 days. No single day bears testimony to a partner's love. Though we live in a consumer driven world that wants us to believe Valentine's Day is "THE day" that signifies the proof of our love's existence, it does not.
Proof of love exists within the many smaller moments of a relationship that take place over course of time.
Single's, please resist the temptation to believe that everyone's partnered. They're not. Over half the adult population is single. You needn't feel lonely, desperate, or defeated. You're not alone. You have yourself.
The basis of the life you'll be sharing with your future partner is the one you have right now. Take time to reflect on the totality of what you have to offer. Trust yourself and trust Life to complete this desire.
2. Plan an experiential date with your partner, or for yourself:
You may be wracking your brain trying to figure out what to do for your partner. How much is too much and how little is too little? You don't want to over-give for your current relationship status. And you certainly don't want to under-give and fail to meet his or her expectations.
When in doubt, choose to make your date an "experience," rather than a gift. There are very few gifts we remember throughout the course of our lives. Experiences live on in our memory and bear far greater meaning.
Ask yourself: What does my partner love to do? What've they been talking about doing that I've either been too busy or too resistant to do with him or her? Valentine's Day is the time to step up to the plate and show your partner that you've been listening to their needs and wants. Give them the gift of sharing the thing they've wanted to experience, with you. It says volumes about your love and willingness to please your mate.
Singles, here's the time to do something fun for yourself. Quit talking about that "thing" you want to do and do it. Feel like indulging in a good book? Desperately needing a massage? Book the trip you've wanted to take. Make plans to see the friend you've wanted to see. Honor yourself this Valentine's Day.
3. Let your partner off the hook if they're less than perfect:
Valentine's Day can create huge expectations around your partner's behavior. Resist the temptation to react to the Valentine's Day "shoulds" that demand your partner needs to act in a certain way or do certain things to prove their love.
As Valentine's Day approaches, please relax. See the social pressure for what it is... a marketing ploy crafted for revenue. Real love is independent of gifts and flowers. Anyone can give you those things. Real love is quiet but powerful. It's an inner feeling of connection and resonance.
The most loving gift you can give to your partner is to let them off the hook if their actions are anything less than perfect on this day.
4. Let yourself off the hook if you're single:
Being "single" isn't an assessment of one's lack of worth or lovability. It's a natural state of being that holds as much value as being partnered. Singlehood can either be a proactive choice, or a temporary segment in time to reset dating goals. Being single can mark the time between oneness with yourself and the birth of new love to be shared with another.
Take heart and remember it's one day. It's not the sum total of your worth. Keep Valentine's Day in its proper perspective.
Enjoy the life you have today. Let yourself off the hook in terms of what this day means to you.
5. Be your own best Valentine:
Vow that on this day you'll be good to yourself. Set your intention to think positive thoughts that empower you. Look for things that make you feel happy and appreciative. See yourself through the eyes of a lover... noting all that is good and wonderful about you.
Whether partnered or single, this gift is the one you give to yourself. Be appreciative of what you do have, rather than focused on what you don't have.
Awaken to the beauty in life and notice the splendor all around you.
Take these Valentine's tips to heart. They work.
If you're partnered, your positive attitude will heighten your mate's attitude in correspondence. If you're single, you'll be happy with the life you have right now. There's no better jumping off place for future partnership than to be in agreement with the life you have, and who you are.