Do you ever feel stuck in a rut, tired of the same routine—wondering where you dreams from long ago vanished to?
Do you hear a still small voice whispering in your ear that there’s so much more to life than what you’re experiencing?
If so, you’re among hundreds of millions of people who have similar thoughts.
You may be surprised to know that individuals who are experiencing extraordinary lives are not necessarily more intelligent or luckier than you. In most cases, the only difference between them and the rest of the world is that they’ve acquired skills, techniques, and attitudes that have enabled them to flourish.
And you can too!
Here are 5 tips that will help you create a life you love.
1. SELF-AWARENESS
So many of us are rushing through our day, trying to get things done and get from one place to another, that we don’t take the time to listen to our inner voice—and it’s this voice that’s controlling our thoughts and actions.
Do you know that you have 60,000-70,000 thoughts a day, and that 90% of them are repetitive and 80% of them are negative?
Think about it. If your mind is receiving 40,000- 50,000 negative thoughts a day, how can you ever advance towards your goal of personal fulfillment?
As Eckhart Tolle teaches in The Power of Now, this inner voice may be relevant to what your situation is presently—or it may not be. Regardless though, it will interpret events in terms of the past: This is what is known as the conditioned mind. So you spend your life deciding about your present and future with eyes from the past, repeating what you’ve always done and getting the same results.
The way to free yourself from your mind is by doing two things:
The first step is to start listening to the voice in your head. Make special note of repetitive thoughts, some of which you may have had since childhood, like “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m not pretty enough”, or “I’m not loved.”
The second step is to listen to the voice in your head without judgment. Eckhart Tolle calls this “watching the thinker”. He says that by doing so, you’re witnessing its presence.
Once you begin to listen to this voice as well as being the witness to it, you’ve allowed a new dimension of consciousness to enter you. Rather than ridding yourself of this voice, by listening to it you experience a deeper self coming through from beneath the thought—which causes the thought to lose its power and quickly dissipate.
This is the beginning of the end of your addictive and negative thinking.
As Eckhart Tolle writes in The Power of Now, “With practice, the sense of stillness and peace will deepen. In fact, there is no end to its depth. You will also feel a subtle emanation of joy arising from deep within: the joy of being.”
2. SELF-ACCEPTANCE
Do you ever experience a feeling of not being ‘good enough’?
It’s a common feeling. If it was harmless, I would tell you to shoo it away like a pesky fly. But it’s not. This feeling of not being ‘good enough’ is preventing you from gaining long lasting traction in creating a life you love.
When you’re trying to change aspects of your life, it’s easy to become critical of where you are and ruminating over what you don’t have. Spending even a few minutes with those negative thoughts and you end up feeling bad about yourself.
The key here is to recognize and own the fact that you’re not happy with some areas of your life (or even all areas of your life). You can be dissatisfied and feel uncomfortable with your present situation or yourself.
But at the same time, it is critical that you work on loving yourself—or who you are, deep in your soul.
One strategy I use is to stand in front of the mirror in the morning, look myself straight in the eyes and repeat several times “I love you, I love you.”
Initially it may feel weird when you do it. But trust me, once you start your day off with that simple practice, you’ll hear your inner voice repeating this simple phrase several times throughout the day. And these three words, “I love you”, become your mantra.
3. OWNING YOUR ABILITY
We’ve been brainwashed into believing that who we are is based on our genetics or environment. Consequently, if someone is perceived as creative, we automatically think that they were born that way. And the rest of the population—well, we just didn’t win the lottery and should accept our lot in life.
Thanks to the enormous advances in the field of neuroscience, this belief system has been debunked in recent years.
The truth is this. You are creative; it’s your birthright. Your creative soul is waiting to come out of hiding and learn the skills and techniques so that it can be integrated into your daily routine. Once you access your creativity, the sky is the limit.
You see, living a unique and awesome life is as much about your attitude and belief system as it is about techniques and skills. If you walk around feeling like you’re a victim, then you’ll stay mired in living an ordinary life.
But if you take ownership of your ability, you’ll galvanize yourself to access your power, focus, and determination to make extraordinary things happen.
4. OPENING TO POSSIBILITY
How many times do you hear your inner voice say ‘no’ when you’re offered an opportunity? It could be something as simple as trying a new restaurant or going to a different location for your vacation. Or it could be doing something you’ve always wanted to do—like taking dancing lessons or going rock-climbing—but were afraid to.
We’re so programmed to say ‘no’ that we do it without even being aware. And that’s a real problem.
If you continue doing the same things you’ve always done, you’re going to repeat the life that you’re already living.
Think of it this way. If you get in the car and take the same route to work everyday, you’re going to end up at the same place—your workplace. If you go out to lunch with a friend who you don’t have fun with, then it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to leave that lunch feeling connected and having had a few laughs.
Doing the same thing over and over again is one of the reasons why you’re frustrated and feeling like you’re not living the life you’re destined to.
The only way to change how you experience your life is to change your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
When you begin to say ‘yes’, you’re literally changing your neural pathways and are beginning to experience life differently. You’re nourishing your soul and heart—which are the true indicators of a meaningful and joyful life.
5. TAKING RISKS
As mammals, we don’t instinctively like taking risks. After all, at one point, our survival depended on staying close to the pack and following the leader. Wandering away could literally get you killed.
But in today’s world, when your survival isn’t based on conforming and living within the “pack mentality”, it’s imperative that you jump-start yourself and take risks.
Whenever you create, you’re taking risks.The most inspired creations are born of deep risk—leaps of faith taken by people who dare to venture into new territory, despite their fear, despite the odds, and despite the uncertainty of how it will turn out.
Anytime something feels like a risk, you’re usually looking into the face of something you deeply desire. If it weren’t, it wouldn’t feel so weighted, nor the choice so infused with emotion.
Keep in mind when you’re contemplating taking a risk that each time you become aware of your desires and act on them, you get one step closer to your essence—regardless of the outcome.
An exercise: Sit quietly with your eyes closed. Take some deep breaths.Think back to a time when you took a risk and the outcome was positive. Allow yourself at least a few moments to experience what it felt like after you took the risk. Sit with those feelings and let them become etched in your memory. The next time you are faced with taking a risk, use this positive memory as a muscle that will help you gain enough courage to journey into the unknown.
Fran Sorin is a creativity and gardening expert and the author of the highly acclaimed book, Digging Deep: Unearthing Your Creative Roots Through Gardening. Fran is also a coach, inspirational speaker, and CBS radio news gardening correspondent. She has spent the past 30 years researching and working with herself and clients on how to live more creatively. Digging Deep: Unearthing Your Creative Roots Through Gardening is available at Barnes and Noble stores, Amazon, and other online and neighborhood booksellers.
Fran’s website, fransorin, offers a plethora of information on how to improve your life.