Has the sex in your marriage gotten a bit dull? Is your schedule so busy that it just isn't happening very often? Do you feel disconnected from your husband and want to reignite your intimacy and connection? Or is everything going smoothly, but the two of you just want to have some fun together? In all of those cases, I have two words for you -- hotel sex!
OK, so what exactly is "hotel sex?" Clearly, it includes having sex in a hotel or motel! But, I like to stretch the definition a bit and include making love in any place that provides lots of privacy with little or no responsibility. So it could include sex in a cabin, cottage or inn -- but not sex at your in-laws' house! Basically, it's the kind of sex that allows you and your husband to break away from your normal surroundings and responsibilities and jump start the passion in your marriage.
I know that getting away, even for one night, often requires extensive planning. And if you're the mom of a busy family, it may feel like it requires more energy than you're willing to give. But it's almost always worth the effort! When our children were younger and I was exhausted all the time, I made a lot of mistakes when it came to our sex life. I didn't always give it the time and attention it deserved, and my husband and I didn't communicate well about sex and intimacy. But we did do one thing right - we made time for "hotel sex," making sure to get away by ourselves at least once and often twice a year. And that commitment to investing in our marriage helped it stay it strong and paved the way for us to strengthen sex and intimacy in our marriage over the years.
Whatever stage of life and marriage you're in, you probably need some "hotel sex." Here are five ways it can improve your marriage:
• It allows you to relax in a way many women can't at home. Most wives and moms are always "on" at home -- something or someone always requires their attention. Even when the kids are in bed, we find it hard to relax while looking at an empty refrigerator or piles of dirty clothes! In a hotel, however, you aren't responsible for anything! Nobody is calling "Mom, Mom, Mooommm!" every five minutes, you don't have to make the bed, heck - you don't even have to hang up the towels! And because most women need to be relaxed in order to enjoy sex, getting away from your responsibilities once in a while can provide just the relaxing boost you need!
• It allows you to release some inhibitions. Once you're relaxed, it's easier to let go of inhibitions. In a hotel or motel, no one is going to hear hear you or see you. No one will walk through the door at an inopportune moment. No one knows you. So it's easier to relax and let go of some of the things that worry you about sex at home.
• It gives you a chance to try something new. In a hotel, you can wear the racy lingerie you don't wear at home. Or sexy high heels. Or nothing. You can try a new position. You can take a bath together or have sex in the shower. You can make love in the middle of the afternoon or first thing in the morning. You can try a sex toy or a flavored lubricant. Anything you've been hesitant to try at home, you can try it first in a hotel!
• It says to your husband and yourself, "I value this part of our marriage." Taking the time to spend a weekend, or even just one night, in a hotel lets your husband know you value sex and intimacy with him. And it reminds you that you're a sexual person and sex is about you too. It's a way of reminding both of you that you're more than mom, dad, provider, cook, coach and driver. You're also each other's lover.
• It builds intimacy and connection that strengthens your marriage. Sex is critical to marriage -- you really can't create a strong marriage without it. It's a big component of the glue that holds the two of you together -- without it, you're basically just roommates. Enjoying hotel sex once or twice a year certainly isn't all your marriage needs, but it can reignite or just strengthen that part of your marriage.
Want to give it a try? Then plan a night or a weekend away in the near future. Two nights are better than one, because you have more time to relax. You can make it a full-fledged getaway, or just head to a hotel in a nearby town or city. Don't go too far though, because it's about spending time together, not traveling.