I talk about relationships pretty much all day, every day. When it comes to dating and love, everyone asks the same question: Where are all the good men? You guys, this question sucks. It is the wrong question. Why? Because even if there was the perfect location, that wouldn't really help you move toward the relationship you want. You'd just end up hanging around the frozen food aisle of the supermarket or going to a couple of baseball games in full makeup, and let's be real, if that worked, you'd be so married that by now you'd be sick of your husband.
The problem is not that you're not meeting enough men -- it's that you're not meeting enough men because you're failing to ask the right question. And that question is: Are you ready for a great love relationship?
I can already hear you saying, Of course I am!
But no, not of course. Because as a relationship author -- I wrote a whole book on this topic, Why You're Not Married... Yet -- and matchmaker on NBC's new dating reality show Ready For Love, I see zillions of women who totally think they're ready for love, but what they really are is wanting love. And wanting love and being ready for it are two different things.
So how do you know if you're ready? I put together this little list of signs:
- You Act Your Age. This is America, which means you are free to pick an age and stick with it as long as you want -- you can act like a young twenty-something for the rest of your life if you want to. But most young twenty-somethings are (age appropriately) self-centered and confused. Not exactly marriage material. So if you're acting like one of the girls on Girls, you can be pretty sure you are not in the process of creating a long-term relationship. The good news is -- this is easy to fix. Just don't act like anyone you see on TV.
So, are you ready? If not, don't even worry about it. All you really need is to be ready to be ready. Again, growth is all about taking a single step in the right direction. Continuing to do this more often than not will eventually bring you to the realization that when you're ready, you already know the answer to where all the good guys are -- everywhere.