Have you read the 50 Reasons to Not Have a Baby on Scary Mommy? It really hit home and I couldn't help think about reasons why you should have a baby. Because all of the sleepless nights, stinky diapers and goobers are so worth it.
So here's 50 Reasons to Have a Baby. A rebuttal to the 50 Reasons Not to Have a Baby.
1. Throwing up because you're building a baby, not because you had one too many tequilas the night before.
2. Earning your tiger stripes. A new way to rock being badass. No need for a tattoo anymore.
3. Getting to wear a fake diamond ring that's much bigger than your actual ring because your ring doesn't fit.
4. Increased sex drive.
5. Getting to see what your feet look like without ankles. It's pretty funny and always warrants a selfie.
6. Not having your period!!!!! Period.
7. An excuse to look disheveled and always tired.
8. The ninth month when you take time off to 'prepare' for the baby, but you really just kick your feet back and watch a lot of TV.
9. Experiencing a baby coming out of your vagina. It's pretty f*cked up when you think about it, but oh so incredible at the same time. Bucket list anyone?
10. Getting to eat your placenta afterwards, if you're into that sort of thing (I'm not, but whatever floats your boat).
11. Wow. Taking that first poop after delivery. It will be the biggest in your life and it will definitely go down in the books.
12. Seeing that cute little baby belly button once the umbilical cord falls off.
13. Looking at your baby in the rearview mirror sleeping in their car seat and how cute they look with their head so uncomfortably slumped forward.
14. Learning to be a bum wiper extraordinaire.
15. Getting loads of advice from Aunt Sue and your mother-in-law about what to do and chuckling about how much "times have changed."
16. Experiencing what it's like to be a cow. Just hook-up the pump and 'pew pew pew' see that milk fire out like a fire hose!
17. Free gifts. And who doesn't love free stuff? Especially itsy bitsy newborn clothing.
18. An excuse to hang on to an extra 5 pounds or a motivator to lose them.
19. Learning to perform tasks at a micro quiet sound volume so you don't wake the baby.
20. Little tiny baby fingers and toes.
21. Achieving the gold star for keeping the baby alive.
22. Taking your baby out in public and having everyone hold the door for you and 'ooh' and 'ahh' over how cute your baby is.
23. Developing quick reflexes to catch a floppy head.
24. Learning the art and science of taking fever temperatures. And who puts it in the bum? Like really, there are armpit and mouth options that are much easier.
25. Those first few weeks of breastfeeding when you get the badge of honor for toughening up your nipples like you've been in a battle zone.
26. Cute little baby diapers with even cuter prints.
27. When babies take their diapers off and run around naked.
28. Not having to have an intelligent conversation.
29. Gaining biceps and sick shoulder muscles from carrying 16 to 20 lbs around all day.
30. Documenting every move, cough, sneeze with your camera phone and then running out of storage space because you're already over 1,000 photos after one month.
31. Projectile anything. It's pretty funny.
32. Jamming in the car to The Wiggles.
33. Seeing a baby drink from a bottle. It's so darn cute.
34. Those see-through pacifiers where you can see the baby sucking. It's mesmerizing.
35. All day snuggles and cuddles.
36. An excuse to buy new shoes or clothes because your feet, hips, boobs (and all of the above) are now bigger.
37. That mouth open, jaw down look a baby makes when watching TV.
38. You can get a midnight snack when you're up for your middle-of-the-night duty.
39. Being awake for more of the day. Sleep is over-rated anyway.
40. Seeing your baby prefer Daddy over you even though you carried him for nine months. But you're okay with it because you need a nap anyway.
41. That first solid feeding experience where you get more food on the baby than in the baby's mouth.
42. Cute little baby teeth.
43. Cute little baby ears. Okay, everything about a baby is cute.
44. Getting paid to be off work and spending all day with a little human playing peek-a-boo instead of being in boardrooms and meetings.
45. Changing a poo explosion and contemplating how all that poo came out of such a tiny little thing.
46. Jogging strollers.
47. Watching a baby sleep.
48. Squeezing yourself in your pre-baby jeans and feeling pretty damn good about it, even if there's a muffin top.
49. Getting a good chuckle in when you have no idea why the baby is crying and being so dramatic because he doesn't want to go down for his nap.
50. Getting to see the goofy kid your baby turns into.