By A.S. Chung for DivorcedMoms.com
Divorce. I truly hate that word. It exudes nothing but negative connotations and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It spells failure and humiliation and translates to nothing but a dismal summary of what was supposed to be your life's greatest achievement.
Having wallowed in my own self-pity for a period of time, wondering how on earth I didn't see the signs, I was faced with the prospect of living a life of my own volition.
Hindsight is a beautiful thing and I never thought about the little things I would and should be grateful for post-divorce. I continue to discover things I take for granted, but I have a long list which allows me to wake up in the morning with continued gusto and a passion for my new independent life.
Here are 50 things I am ever so grateful for:
- I am a better parent. I thought I was a good parent, but now I hold every moment with dear life. Losing my daughter for two days a week to her father makes me appreciate the time I do have with her.
- I get to be the kind of parent I wish to be -- all of the time.
- I have a greater respect for the sanctity of marriage. In my case, I didn't have a choice in the matter as the grass was simply greener on the other side for him, but it has allowed me to really understand what marriage is about.
- I know who my friends truly are and luckily for me, I wasn't disappointed.
- I am more resilient now than I ever was before. I still wonder how I got through it all.
- I became a writer of children's picture books about divorce. I am enjoying this new chapter of my life tremendously!
- I started blogging! Something I have always wanted to do as I formalized my creative outlet. Essentially, I am living a dream I have had for some time.
- I am grateful for my tenacity.
- I am grateful for my own self-respect.
- I am grateful for my vanity and my ability to get back on the dating scene at 40!
- I had forgotten what it meant to be blissfully happy.
- I love being able to make decisions on my own again without consulting anyone else.
- Being able to be spontaneous without ramifications.
- Doing things my way!
- Ridding of an unhappy home and moving into my very own place.
- Stopped being the brunt of broken promises.
- Stopped being ignored.
- Not cleaning up someone else's mess.
- Not being angry anymore.
- Not arguing and fighting on a regular basis.
- Being free of family obligations.
- I am grateful that I no longer feel invisible to the most important man in my life.
- I am grateful I don't have to wonder how I was going to survive an unhappy marriage for the next 40 years of my life.
- I stopped, breathed and moved on.
- I learned that there is always a way forward and that I was filled with so much drive I propelled myself with amazing strength.
- I know exactly what I do and don't want from future relationships.
- Embracing a diverse family unit.
- I know I am never truly alone and I have filled my life with amazing friendships.
- I am grateful that my principles, values, and morals have not wavered but strengthened through these difficult times.
- Silver linings became clearer.
- I am grateful my divorce was fairly amicable and was not ugly.
- I am even more determined to live and experience life.
- It has made me travel more and I want to see the world through my daughter's eyes.
- I found more time to place more importance on the little things.
- I stopped taking any relationships for granted.
- I have learned that I cannot change and I should stop expecting myself to.
- I have learned to stop accepting anything less than my expectations.
- It's ok to cry often and I am grateful I can, and do.
- I listen to my daughter a lot more and I learned to read between the lines.
- I hug, kiss and love my daughter infinitely more than I ever did. I am bordering on smothering but hey, she's just going to have to live with it!
- I am enjoying my two free nights a week and fulfilling them constantly.
- I have time for my physical self and am back at the gym.
- More open to trying new things when I couldn't in the past.
- I am grateful that my daughter never has to live a life where her parents slept in separate rooms.
- I am glad my daughter never saw how unhappy I was in my marriage and thought that's what marriage is supposed to be like.
- I am ever so proud of myself for being able to look after a family and am grateful that I am able to emotionally.
- I found the love of my life and I now know what it means to be truly loved.
- The ability to show my daughter what it means to be in a loving relationship and not one of absence but total presence.
- My daughter now has a stepparent who loves her more than himself.
- Lastly, I am most grateful for being able to give love and receive love, every minute of the day.
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