A few months ago I wrote an article about 50 thoughts that travel through my mind on a daily basis. If you missed it, here it is: 50 Thoughts That I have Between Sunrise and Sunset. I took some heat in the comment section, stating that other people besides me apparently also have thoughts; including men. I wrote the piece to give a glimpse into my mind, not to state that others walk around with an empty head. However those comments prompted me to think about the thoughts my husband has on a daily basis.
Here is the speculated list of thoughts that I believe run though my husbands head from sunrise to sunset.
1. I better hurry, I hit the snooze like ten times this morning.
2. Did I shower last night? I'll put on extra deodorant.
3. Oh good, the wife bought me body spray, that will work.
4. I don't know if this tie matches. She is still asleep, should I wake her to ask?
5. Shit, she looked pissed when I woke her up to ask about my tie.
6. Why is there no food in the fridge? Didn't she grocery shop this week?
7. Where are the leftovers? I guess it's frozen burritos again.
8. Where are my work keys? I know I put them on the counter last night.
9. I probably shouldn't have asked her where my work keys are, she is such a grump.
10. Oh look, here they are, in my work bag. Hilarious!
11. I have a meeting in like 20 minutes, I better hurry up.
12. Will this person every shut up? I can't take another meeting.
13. I wonder what we are having for dinner.
14. I want steak. I bet she put something in that crock-pot. Damn thing. Its like eating baby food.
15. I'm horny. Maybe I'll send her a text.
16. Why is she so grouchy? That text was hilarious.
17. I didn't say send a naked picture, I said a dirty picture. Seriously!
18. I bet if I leave work by 4:00 I can play nine holes.
19. Why didn't she send a dirty picture?
20. Maybe I'll text her and tell her I'm bringing steak home to grill. That way its like I cooked dinner.
21. I could use a nap. A nap and sex would be good right about now.
22. Another meeting, kill me now.
23. Count down time, one hour until golf.
24. I forgot to put my last round in this new golf app I bought. I better do that know so it can analyze my projected score.
25. Sign these documents and lock my office door. I can be outta her in like 10 minutes.
26. I'll just shoot her a text and let her know I'll be home in a few hours.
27. I know, I'll remind her that the doctor said golf was good for my blood pressure. Yeah, that and sex are good for my blood pressure.
28. I love golf.
29. I love beer.
30. I'm horny again.
31. That was an awesome swing. I nailed that ball.
32. I'm gonna nail her later.
33. OK, wrapping up. I'll text her that I'm getting in the car.
34. Shit, she needs me to stop at the store.
35. Oh good, I forgot I wanted steaks.
36. Sweet, beer is on sale.
37. Did she say something about toilet paper?
38. Why is it so loud every time I walk in this house?
39. Geeze, don't look so happy that I'm home.
40. Let's get that steak on the grill.
41. Smells good. I need a beer.
42. Why does she get mad when I smack her ass? It's a compliment.
43. She didn't even say thank you to me. I did cook dinner.
44. OK, it's finally quiet. The kids are in bed.
45. Come over her little lady and spend some time with Daddy. Why does she look at me like that?
46. I know, I'll make that pissy face so she'll give in.
47. Totally worked!
48. Why does she keep getting out of bed? Of course the kids are still here, where does she think they will go?
49. I'm tired.
So there you have it. Here are my assumptions of what goes through my husbands head from sunrise to sunset. I am not implying that these are your thoughts, your husbands thoughts, or anything else that will get your panties in a big huge wadded bunch. Relax and share this with someone who has a sense of humor.