This essay is one of 35 selected by a panel of judges for “Ambitions Interrupted,” a series from The GroundTruth Project and YouthVoices, its storytelling platform.
Name: Zeanna Alexis Smith
Age: 22
Dream Job: Human Resources Manager
City, Country: Cavite, Philippines
Current job/school: Human Resources Associate
Challenge: Can’t afford university
My world crashed around me in 2010, when I was still in high school. My mother suffered from a stroke and half of her body became paralyzed. Before then, I depended on her financially and emotionally. I remember being in the hospital and waking up to the real world, and all of these questions were on my mind – “Who am I going to run to when I’m sick? Who’s going to take care of me? How am I going to get money and live?”
All I knew was one thing: I was alone and I had to do something to get on my two feet again.
I finished high school with the help of my aunt, but the money that she sent was barely enough to cover my mother’s medicine. I had no choice but to leave college in the middle of my freshman year and look for a job. Finding one wasn’t easy.
I applied to several fast food chains and boutique stores, but no one would hire me. I was really losing hope at the time – I’d cry every night and think about selling my body, but then would tell myself that I’m too fat and unqualified to even do that. When I think back to it now, I understand that my younger self genuinely didn’t believe that I could do this – that I could help my family.
After many unanswered applications, I got a job as a customer representative at a call center. I’ve always had confidence in my English and my mother used to be a customer service representative herself, so it felt like the right path.
Now, I’ve been working in this industry since 2012 and I’m convinced that I’ve almost achieved my dream job. I’m now a human resources recruiter and associate at one of the biggest call center companies in the Philippines. Even though the salary isn’t as big as other companies, I stay here for the work culture – my colleagues are like family to me, and I could never imagine leaving them.
But my lasting friendships aside, I’m facing a roadblock. I’m not making enough money to continue to take care of both my mother and myself. My dream job is to become a human resources manager and I know that I’m ready for a promotion, but there are essentially no opportunities for those without college degrees to move up.
I’m stuck: I’m not making enough money to take care of my mother, nor am I making enough to save for college and get that degree.
Education is priceless – it’s something that no one can ever take from me. I want to be proud that I earned a degree someday, but the doors have never been open for me.
This story was originally submitted to YouthVoices, a platform powered by The GroundTruth Project that encourages young people to share stories about the issues affecting their generation. Submit your own essays and answer new questions here, or learn more about global youth unemployment with this interactive map.