It's that time of the year again -- the heart shaped candy boxes are at the grocery stores, the card aisles are filled with pink, and the flower shops are brimming with roses. As Valentine's Day nears, many people are setting out to either impress their significant other or kindle a new flame. With these goals in mind, romantic hopefuls will purchase nearly 110 million roses and one billion dollars worth of chocolate. If you aren't lovestruck this Valentine's Day season, don't fret -- get out there and mingle! These body language quick tips will help you score a date with that hottie across the room at your next Valentine's Day party.
As an expert in my field and author of the new book, You Say More Than You Think, I focus on signals we send unconsciously through our body language. Though we tend to spend SO much time thinking of what to say, many people don't realize that a huge component of communication is nonverbal. This Valentine's Day, instead of practicing what to say in front of the mirror, use the mirror to practice how to act to get the response you desire from that special person you meet on your night out.
The Plan:
Both men and women naturally pick up on nonverbal cues, and mastering those cues will boost your dating success rate. Here's a sneak peek at some of the fail-safe body language moves from my upcoming book that will help you attract the attention of anyone no matter where you go.
•Dress bold to be bold: Don't be afraid to show off some skin during winter. The more skin you show, the more you'll stand out. Draw attention to your shoulders in a bright, solid, strapless dress. You might want to pick a color that won't blend into the surrounding Valentine's Day decor. This will catch more eyes than the black and red dresses all the other girls will be in.
•Pick your spot: When you arrive at a party, make sure you stake out a spot that makes you the center of attention. A strategy outlined in You Say More Than You Think teaches you to always grab the center spot in a group of friends. When standing at the bar, move to the center to order a drink, then turn around and stay there.
•Keep your power zones open: Your three power zones -- the neck dimple, belly button, and "naughty bits" (groin area) should always be kept open. Hiding them robs you of power and confidence, and makes you appear closed off and shut down. An open wrist also communicates confidence. Hold your cocktail in one hand, exposing both wrists, and keeping your torso open. Try it in a mirror and you'll be amazed at how much more approachable you appear!
•Drop the Stepford Wife smile: It's no secret that people want to feel special and like they spread happiness wherever they go. Instead of wearing out those cheeks with a permanent (and fake) smile on your face all night, try on a more neutral but friendly expression until you make eye contact with or meet someone. Waiting until he introduces himself to flash your pearly whites will make him feel like the smile is because of him instead of just for him.
•Eliminate the static: As the night progresses, be sure to change positions every half hour or so. Sit, stand, lean, dance -- do it all! Others will experience you from a different angle each time, making you appear livelier and more appealing than the other bar barnacles and couch potatoes.
•Tie in touch: After you've roped your interest in, use touch to create a positive anchor. It's easy -- while you're chatting, casually place a hand on his arm or wrist when you say something positive. Just a slight touch as you compliment his watch or laugh at a joke will work wonders. When you anchor someone with touch, you can trigger that anchor anytime producing those attached emotions, putting your guy at ease, and making him feel good being around you.
The Follow-Up:
Once you've landed your man, be sure to let him know you are interested in seeing him again. Do this by reactivating the anchor you created during your first conversation with him. When the time comes for you and your friends to call it a night, you might feel pressured to ensure the night ends with a first "real" date lined up with your guy. If you tend to panic and make goodbyes awkward, take a moment to relax before saying goodbye. You've already done all the work, all you have to do is invoke the positive feelings you established earlier. Touch his arm while you say "I had a great time, it'd be great to see you again." Chances are he'll take your open-ended comment as an opportunity to ask you out. Don't let this goodbye turn into an awkward, empty, or disappointing one - you've landed your man, now just secure that second meeting
Janine is the author of You Say More Than You Think