I had a meeting this week with a guy who is running a very successful company. We spent over an hour together and we realized early in the meeting that we both have five kids.
His are late teens to mid-20s, so he's got a decade or so of experience on me.
It's a small club we're in, this crazy big family club, so we really hit it off. We talked for a good 30 minutes about our families before we dove into the work stuff.
As we talked, we laughed about the crazy things people say to us in public. Especially when all seven of us are together.
When you see big families out and about, it must be a green light to say awkward stuff.
We agreed that the intentions are typically pretty good, but man, the delivery could use some work.
So in the interest of teaching you how to deal with weird families like ours, here are six phrases/questions we have heard dozens of times through the years.
If you see us or another large family out and about this week, try and come up with something a bit more creative to say to us. :)
1. Your Hands Are Full.
Often said with a tinge of sarcasm, like, "Whoa, y'all are nuts." The lame response here is, "Yeah, full of good things." Don't say that if you have a bunch of kids. You'll get made fun of even more.
2. Don't You Know How That Happens?
Maybe the most common response we get. This one is bold -- they might as well say, "Hey, I disapprove of how many kids you have." My wife gets embarrassed, but I've started responding with, "Yeah, I really like that part."
3. Are those all yours?
Like they're kittens or something. Again, doesn't make my better half proud, but I respond with either, "Yeah, I think so," or, "I'm not completely sure. Do they look like me?"
4. Are y'all done now?
In boldness, a step above question #2. This one is ballsy. Apparently we need their permission if we weren't somehow "done."
5. Are you Catholic/Mormon/Some Specific Religion?
Religious talk is usually a great, non-edgy way to start a relationship, huh? My go-to comeback on this one is, "No, we're just crazy."
6. Aren't They Expensive?
Umm, weird. Kicking around the idea of replying with, "Not as expensive as your car lease." Wonder how that will go for me...
Families with three or more kids, what other common responses do y'all get?
And friends, if you've said one of these six things to me, I still love you. It's all in good fun. I know you mean well. We're just weird, I get it.