You want success in life, business and your relations with the opposite sex. And you are a diehard fan of superhero characters and their never-ending stream of awesome. And you are here reading this now because you suspect you might have something to learn from superhero confidence and charisma that you could apply to your own life, today. Jackpot! Read on...
1) Self-Improvement
Created by Ultron, The Vision is the first of his android kind, with no peer, and yet he embodies the foundational quality of successful men and women - always act to improve yourself.
The Vision has nothing to prove and no one to prove it to (an aspect of ironclad confidence in and of itself). Yet he possesses enough self-awareness to realize that he is not human and that he truly wants to be. Many of us find ourselves wanting to be different or better than we are, more "human" - but too many people complain about their state. They stagnate. They blame. They never self-improve.
Now, imagine the Vision knowing he lacks more humanity but just whining about it. Even with his superpowers, he'd be boring! The Vision is admirable in that he always seeks to understand humanity more deeply, and pro-actively practices claiming the best parts of us, incorporating them into his consciousness.
Self-improvement is proof not only that you value yourself, but also that you invest in yourself so that your stock is always rising.
2) Live By A Code
Superman, the last orphan of a dead world, more powerful than any being on Earth. No planetary law can bind him. No lock can hold him, and yet he lives by an undeniable adopted code... He fights for "truth, justice and the American way." Without this code (devised by Superman's creators as a direct counterweight to the Nazi perversion of Neitzche's "Ubermensch"), Superman would be chaotic, a wild card and a danger to everyone everywhere.
There emanates an aura of focus, discipline, power and mastery to anyone who channels their power according to a noble code. There are few things that inspire more confidence, in yourself and others, than being able to trust in your consistency of action. In short, walk your talk. Or if you can, fly it. With a cape.
3) Believe In Yourself
No discussion of badass-level confidence could be complete without mentioning the avenging angel herself, Natasha Romanoff a.k.a. the Black Widow. A powerful example of so many forms of confidence, her most "super" superpower - the one that supercharges them all - has got to be her belief in herself.
Yes, the training and her skills make her formidable (remember what I said about always improving yourself...?), but her steely self-belief that she will win in any battle, she is unstoppable. It's often said that sexiest words a man can say to a woman are "I've got this." But I dare anyone to say it's not sexier on Black Widow. (And yes, having Scarlett Johanssen playing her helps. A lot.)
4) Make Conscious Choices
Ah, Batman, the Dark Knight, the Guardian of Gotham, he, who in Lego movie only "works with black, and sometimes dark grey." Another paragon of confidence. A Playboy-billionaire who has seen the world, tasted it (sweet and bitter) risen from the ashes of tragedy and decided to don a mask to prevent others from experiencing tragedy. Every word of that last sentence rings with the clarity of choice and the drive to follow through - at a level of devotion beyond what most of us choose to attain.
Bruce Wayne embodies the spirit of the clarity of choice we all dream about, but rarely take on - mostly because we are easily distracted. The character of Batman is sexy because everything he does and everything he is are the unambiguous result of conscious choices. In the mask, or out, his character shapes his own destiny and turns negativity into positivity. He never blames anyone else for his circumstances, and he never complains. He overcomes anger and turns it into a tool he uses. Even when a world full of ugly and twisted tries to hold him down or eliminate him, you can be sure that this master escape artist will stay on point and follow his own (bat)light.
5) Live With A Sense Of Purpose
Daredevil, blind since childhood, living in a "world on fire," those of you following the exploits of the "Devil of Hell's Kitchen," know that whether he's in the courtroom or patrolling the streets, Matt Murdoch has found his niche, lives his passion and serves his purpose with a singular devotion.
Daredevil knows his place in the grand scheme of things. He makes mistakes, but is never lost because he knows where his values lie. And, he may have doubts, but the so-called "man without fear" never hesitates or goes back on himself because he has chosen a path built just for him, built by him, a path born of his character and paved with his clear principles - much like Batman.
6) Take Pride In What You Do
Wonder Woman, the famed "Princess of Power" is leader of the Amazons, the general of an army, a nation of warrior women. She takes positive pride not merely in her own skills but in her heritage and inheritance of a proud race, forged by will, and unwilling to compromise. Proud of herself, proud of her family, proud of her people, Wonder Woman stands tall as an ambassador of the kind of positive pride that allows us all to stand tall in our best and most noble values, which helps us all carry on in our darkest moments.
The Pride of the Amazons reminds us that celebration is not a sin, and that pride is simply feeling the same admiration that everyone else feels toward you when you are at your best. Remember, the people we admire most are often the ones we find the most attractive.
7) Love Who You Are
Now here comes perhaps the most confident superhero of them all. You might be too you were an actual god, and if people called you things like "The Thunderer!" Another general of his people, and next in line to the throne of his mythic and heavenly homeland, Thor simply likes himself.
Call it positive parenting. As the favorite son of the "All-Father," that unfailing confidence rises from the fact that he simply loves being who he is, in his body, with his exploits. He takes a natural pride in honor and in respect of others, and of course, upholding the honor of his tradition. As he proclaims joyfully in the movie of his name,"He's fine! We drank, we fought - he made his ancestors proud!" There can be little more joy in life than this for the blonde one. His comfort in who he is makes him lovable, especially when he innocently encounters so much that he has never experienced before.
We all benefit from embodying and exhibiting these superhero qualities of confidence - self-love, upholding a noble tradition, service, purpose, clarity of choice and follow through, a rigorous inner code - but, as fans of the Avengers or the Justice League know, the flower of that confidence - ongoing success - depends on surrounding yourself with the highest quality of companions - those who also exhibit these noble, confident and attractive qualities.
The quality of your life, the quality of your character and especially the quality of your confidence is forever buoyed up, or forever crippled by the quality of the company you keep. No matter who you are, Superhero or just regular suburban hero, you are always more attractive when you reflect and are reflected by a cadre of friends who shimmer with the confidence and nobility of superhero character traits.
Whether they wear capes or not.
Best Selling Author, Emmy-Nominated Producer, Screenwriter and Entrepreneur, Adam Gilad leads a community of over 80,000 men and women on their quest to create love and a bold, inspired life. Having served as a Stanford Humanities Center Graduate Research Fellow and host of National Lampoon Radio, Adam blends a bracing mix of research, humor and global wisdom traditions to help men and women break through the habits blocking their ability to open into love and freedom.
He's a regular contributor to Vixen Daily in the Personal Development and Inspiration section.