Let's face it: some people are off-putting. Unfortunately, they don't self-identify. They simply blunder through life either a) clashing with people, embroiled in conflict after conflict, or b) bouncing from relationship to relationship, lonely and confused about why they don't have close friends.
A few things can alter the picture so that obnoxious people have difficulty seeing themselves as others do: money, power, position and celebrity status. Often, those around obnoxious people will put up with nastiness or crass behavior because they like being seen with a celebrity, or they enjoy the benefits of the person's wealth or power.
But obnoxious behavior grates on the nerves like fingernails on a whiteboard. Sooner or later, bystanders grit their teeth and wish them goodbye.
So how do these people irritate? Let me count the ways:
- Obnoxious people hog air time. Whether a face-to-face meeting, a teleconference, or a panel discussion, they monopolize. If someone reported their speaking time versus the total air time of all other participants, their obnoxious person's time would eclipse the air time of all the others involved.
To repeat: Obnoxious people rarely recognize themselves -- until they get tired, fired, or lonely. If you have one of these people in your workplace, stand clear until they get help. Otherwise, they create havoc and resentment for all concerned.