Written by Nicole Xiques
I don't think anything can truly prepare you to be a mother, or a parent for that matter. There isn't a set of instructions that shows you how to love, protect, and guide your children in this world. All you have are the experiences life taught you and an immeasurable amount of love in your heart. While I'm not a mother just yet, I know that someday I'm meant to be one.
I can't help but reflect on what life would be like if I had a little girl. When I saw the Super Bowl commercial for "Like a girl," I began to wonder: When did my self-esteem plummet? I always had an amazing support system and my own mother was my motivator, #1 cheerleader and best friend all in one. What I realized was that as we mature, our experiences affect our self-worth, strength and confidence. That society and those around us can put a lot of pressure on how we feel about ourselves.
While I don't know if I'll have a daughter, I do know that if I do, I will love her unconditionally, give her the freedom to be unapologetically herself and inspire her to truly live. I will be there to celebrate her successes and comfort her when times get hard. While I know I won't be able to solve all her problems or prevent her from experiencing struggles in life, if I could teach her anything, I'd teach her the following:
1. Love yourself.
The most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. You might believe that how other people view you defines who you are, but what you will learn is that how you see yourself will be the one factor that sets the tone for your entire life. It's easy to pick yourself apart and focus on your flaws, but it's those characteristics that make you who you are. Embrace every single one of them, because they make you beautiful. Be kind to yourself, shower yourself with love and respect because how you treat yourself will set the standard for how others will treat you.
2. Explore the world.
Pack your bags and travel. Travel as much as you can. Do something new. Go somewhere new. Heck, live somewhere new. The more you see of the world, the more your perspective about life changes (in such a positive way). You learn about yourself, different views, people and cultures -- but more importantly you get outside of your comfort zone. When you get outside of that comfortable place, you give yourself the opportunity to break free of any limitations and live life to the fullest. It's a feeling that is indescribable, a feeling that will awaken your soul, and once you feel it, you'll never be the same again.
3. Cultivate relationships that make you a better person.
One of the phrases my mother and grandmother used to always say was, "Tell me who you're with and I'll tell you who you are." Time is precious, the present moment is a gift, and if you spend it with people who bring you down, you will feel constricted, bitter and hopeless. Surround yourself with those individuals who inspire you, who push you to be the best version of yourself and motivate you to live an authentic life.
4. Find your purpose and live it.
There's a voice deep inside you that will guide you along your journey. Be silent enough to really hear what it is trying to tell you. It is there to help you find your purpose, to point you in the right direction and lead you in making life decisions that are best for you. Don't let outside factors deter you from what you know in your heart is true. When you finally hear the message, listen to it and live your life fulfilling it.
5. Forgive others and yourself.
There are going to be times when people will disappoint you, hurt you and let you down. Truth is, you too will hurt others and do things that you won't always be proud of. We are all human; we make mistakes and need to try to find it in our hearts to forgive. Forgive them, forgive yourself and understand that holding on to the anger of what was done only poisons YOUR body and soul. When you learn to let go, you take power back into your own hands, living in kindness and love.
6. Wait for true love -- don't settle.
As cliché as this one might be, the truth is that it's better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones. You might feel that you are on a time-crunch to find love, get married or have children, but please don't settle for someone just because society tells you you are getting old. Wait for a man who will be your partner in life, a best friend, someone who respects you, accepts you and loves you for who you are. Know what you are looking for, so that when he walks into your life you will finally understand why it didn't work out with anyone else.
7. Make a life that is yours.
I truly believe that we are spiritual beings living a human experience. We have the opportunity to live a life that is ours, filled with endless opportunities. We have the chance to experience ANYTHING we want to, as long as we are willing to TRY. Travel, move, laugh, cry, learn, teach, love, inspire, dream. Live a life that you are proud of, one that is worth living, one that you can reflect on when you are old and grey and say... "Wow! That was one hell of a ride!"
To my future daughter: I can't wait to be your mom. XOXO
Nicole is a 30-something-year-old writer, educator and entrepreneur who tries to live life unapologetically herself. Having gone through many experiences as a child and young adult, Nicole believes that sharing her stories through writing will allow her readers to relate to some of the struggles and triumphs we all face. Her passion has always been to help others, and she feels that the words she puts on paper will give hopeful insight to whoever reads them.
Contact: nic1202x@gmail.com
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