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7 Reasons Why the Way You Feel Depends on You

When I started to meditate and dive into the life-changing practice of self-inquiry, I started to understand the nature of my thinking. Meditation taught me to be present with my thoughts and how the nature of my thinking creates the experience of an emotion felt in the body.
02/26/2016 11:39am ET | Updated December 6, 2017
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I naively thought that nothing was under my control. Everything happened to me, and I just had to deal with it. Thinking this way created a lot of emotional instability within me and as a result I suffered from depression and anxiety.

When I started to meditate and dive into the life-changing practice of self-inquiry, I started to understand the nature of my thinking. Meditation taught me to be present with my thoughts and how the nature of my thinking creates the experience of an emotion felt in the body. I realized that most things aren't under my control, but one thing is:

How I choose to feel about anything.

With this knowing came a deep understanding, which gave me a huge sense of freedom.

I realized that I have control over how I feel and I could change the way I feel anytime by choosing a better feeling thought.

We can't change what we aren't aware of, but when we shine the light of awareness into the darkness, we witness the darkness transformed into light.

These 7 reasons will illuminate your mind as you become aware of how you feel depends on you:

1. No one can make you feel a certain way unless you give them permission to.

This is often subconscious -- we let people walk all over our mind with their dirty feet. We are taught to control and fix outer circumstances in order to feel inner peace, but it's the other way around. Look within to know your thoughts about your circumstances. What are you fighting, resisting, letting prolong, trying to control so you will feel differently? Once you shine the light of awareness onto your thoughts, you realize that your thinking is the reason you feel the way you feel. Change the thinking, to change the feeling. Now, you have given yourself the gift of inner peace!

2. No matter what, you can always choose a better feeling thought.

Yes, you can! If something is upsetting you, the worst thing you can do is let it drown you. It won't help change how you feel. Think of a thought that feels good to you in that moment. Let it meet you where you are. I always rely on gratitude to uplift my vibe and thinking. It works every time. I am grateful for my breathe -- this is my favorite go to statement as it connects me to the present moment.

3. How you think will always determine your experience.

Take a hard look at your thoughts about yourself. What are you constantly affirming to yourself? Most of us are so unaware of what we say to ourselves. Are you always telling yourself: this won't work, I can't do this, this is impossible. Now notice how your experiences always reflect your thinking. If you want to change your experience, change the way you think and feel about it. Instead of looking at something as a problem ask, what is the blessing here?

4. What you give power to has power over you.

We are programmed to always look at what's wrong, what is not working? We complain about our weight, job, friends, money, weather, clothes, etc. By always talking about what is wrong, we give our power away. Then, all we notice in our life is all that is wrong. We take our power back by focusing on what is good because when we focus on what is good -- we feel good! When we feel good, we are in our power.

5. How you feel about yourself determines the relationship you have with yourself.

We are always exerting and giving our energy to things that only bring us down. The most common way we do this is by criticizing ourselves. We give our power to unloving thoughts that don't support our well-being. An unloving thought will never feel good. Take your power back by affirming It's important to me to feel good.

6. What you keep telling yourself daily will manifest in your life experiences.

I used to always tell myself that life is a struggle and indeed my life was a struggle. I couldn't find a job, was always broke and had an emotionally unstable relationship with myself. When I realized that I could change my life experiences by affirming how I want my life experiences to be - it liberated me! Now, I affirm that everything is always working out. This feels better and I witness daily all the beautiful ways my life is working out.

7. Your feelings are always an indicator of your thinking. If you change your thinking -- you change your life.

This is what healed my depression and constant anxiety. I realized that by healing my thinking -- I could heal my life. I began to do things that allowed me to feel some relief -- even if that meant taking a long walk while listening to my favorite song. The fog began to lift as I questioned my thoughts, why I keep thinking them and how they make me feel. I also started incorporating daily meditation which really helped me to feel a sense of ease and stability as I started to become present and available for myself.

To change our lives, we must become aware of our thinking. Wayne Dyer puts it like this:

"Change the way you look at things and the way you look at things change."

Be gentle, kind and patient through this process. Just like how it took you years to learn your way into who you are today, it'll take time to relearn your way into who you know yourself to be. ​