By lying to ourselves we mortgage our long term needs in order to fulfill short-term desires. -- Mark Manson
Have you ever looked at someone who appeared to be happier than a kid eating ice cream on a hot summer day and wondered, "Hmmmm... What does she have that I don't have?"
Have you ever stopped to think what makes a person happier or more successful than you or someone you know?
Millions of people, and you may know some of these people, walk around with the perpetual doom and gloom cloud over their head. They worry about things not working out, their anxiety is through the roof, and maybe they're desperately trying to find something, anything, that will fill a void inside themselves.
What if I were to show you a better way? What if I were to share with you seven of the snarkiest lies we tell ourselves and how to counteract them?
Snarky Lie #1
If only my husband/wife/boss/best friend changed, my life would be so much better.
Too often we look to blame other people for our circumstances. Instead of blaming other people or believing that someone else has to change, successful people own their choices and decisions. They don't expect other people to change to suit them.
Snarky Lie #2
If only I had a better job I wouldn't be so miserable.
Once upon a time I used to believe this. The more I focused on how miserable my job was, the more miserable I became. The truth is, no matter what you are doing, you have a choice. You can stay at a job that you don't like or you can find another one. Or you can reframe your job situation with an attitude of gratitude. In my case, I decided to be grateful for my job, the flexibility my job gave me to work from home, the salary and benefits my company provided, and I made peace with the actual work.
Snarky Lie #3
If had more money, I'd be debt free (and happier)
If you have a spending problem or are in up to your eyeballs in debt, making more money is a feel good lie over-spenders love to tell themselves. Your perpetual debt cycle keeps you in a chronic state of anxiety. Cut up your credit cards, stop spending more than you earn, and pay down your debt. More money won't change how you do money until you change how you do money.
Snarky Lie #4
I'm too old to go to school, travel, exercise, etc.
Age is not an excuse to not do something you've always wanted to do. I remember being in college with a woman in her 70s -- she was such an inspiration. I practice Muay Thai Kickboxing with a woman who started training when she was in her late 50s and I was 42. We're now 65 and 51 respectively and we're both testing for our third degree black belts later this year. Age is just a number and it leads us to...
Snarky Lie #5
Someday is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves. Someday I'll travel to Europe. Someday I'll go to college. Someday I'll learn how to scuba dive. When exactly is someday? Ask any successful person and they'll tell you that someday is just another word for never.
Snarky Lie #6
I could never run a marathon, climb a mountain, ride a roller coaster, etc.
Unless there's something that physically prevents you from doing what you say you could never do, you are lying to yourself and everyone around you. Running a marathon isn't about ability, it's about desire. I can run a marathon I just have no desire to actually do it. It's not whether I can or cannot; it's about whether I will or I won't. When it comes to marathons, I'm in the "I don't want to" category.
Learn the difference between can't and won't. Successful people know the difference and most erase the word can't from their vocabulary.
Snarky Lie #7
If only I were married, rich or had six pack abs my life would be perfect.
After I got divorced I thought my life would be perfect if I moved. So I moved and my life was my life. The move didn't make anything better. Neither will getting married, getting rich, having six pack abs, or buying a 1965 cherry red mustang. What happy successful people realize is that in this exact moment their life is perfect regardless of the things they may have accumulated.
If you're plagued by any one of these seven snarky lies, your mission, if you choose to accept it is to begin and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Be grateful for all that you have and all that you are. You matter. You count. And you are more than enough.
Peggy Nolan is a writer, sacred bad-ass warrior, vanquisher of fear, and slayer of doubt. Peggy is an International Bestselling author of Inspiration for a Woman's Soul: Choosing Happiness.
If you liked this article, you can download Peggy's absolutely FREE eBook, "30 Ways to Boost Your Positivity and Increase Your Happiness," today.