You feel like the luckiest person alive.
Not only have you found the person that lights you up, makes you feel awesome and has your back, but they feel the same way about you too.
And NOW you're engaged to be married!
It's such an exciting time - you feel on top of the world, right? And don't you just love that rush you get when you wake up every morning and remember (all over again), that you're getting married to the love of your life?
There's nothing like it..
Until your boss snaps at you in the Monday morning meeting: "Yes, yes, we all know that you got engaged, but we've still got a business to run."
Or your girlfriend drops a bombshell: "I never trusted him, you know. Are you sure this is what you want?"
We've pulled together the most common causes of newly-engaged angst and how to sidestep them in the hope that you can keep yourself wrapped up in the warm, comfy blanky of your love for just a little while longer..
1. Disinterested Friends or Family
They're unimpressed with your big news and quickly steer the conversation right back to their bad boss, bad back or bad banana bread.
They're so wrapped up in themselves and their own life that your engagement is barely a blip on their social radar.
SOLUTION: Try to resist seeking or needing approval or encouragement from those who will only support you if there is something in it for them. Repeat after me: I choose my choice.
2. The Sobering Cost of a Wedding
You wanted to get a headstart and thought that just emailing a couple of venues was smart, yes?
But then the quotes started coming in and the harsh reality of your romantic and classy dream wedding racking up an estimated $20k (for food and drinks alone!), made you want to cry.
Weddings can get real expensive real quick and the longer you can insulate yourself from the major decisions, safe in the bliss of your love-bubble, the better.
Soak it up while you can!
SOLUTION: Don't face reality (i.e. wedding suppliers and their quotes) until you absolutely HAVE to.
3. The Odds Are Against You
There's always at least one routinely pessimistic friend or family member who, when faced with your engagement announcement, will want to let you know about the percentage of married couples who end up divorced.
I mean, really? Is that the best they could come up with?
SOLUTION: Remember, they are projecting their beliefs and insecurities about relationships onto you. Don't take the bait.
4. The Know it All
Luckily, there are a handful of super helpful people who will jump into action at the mere glimmer of a diamond ring - whether you like it or not.
They are the Know-It-All; the recently hitched, wanna-be amateur wedding planners or well-meaning, but often super-pushy, relatives.
They can't wait to tell you all about the right way to organise anything and everything, will ALWAYS know the best person for this (or that) and will offer to go with you to meetings or dress fittings without you needing to ask (because you didn't want them there in the first place).
SOLUTION: Your evergreen answer? "Thanks so much for the offer, but we've already looked into that and we've got it under control". And walk away - FAST!
5. The Assumers (i.e. the Instant Bridal Party & Invite-Themselves Guests)
Right behind the people who know it all, are the ones who jump to conclusions: "Well, if you're getting married in February and Alice is due to give birth in January.. guess who should be your maid of honour?!"
There's no need for invitations because they TOTALLY KNOW they’re invited - RIIIGHT?!?
SOLUTION: To minimise hurt feelings and misunderstandings later, it is best to deflect and disarm these people as soon as possible.
A quick: "We haven't discussed the guest list/who we want in our bridal party yet" will at least buy you a little time to work out a way to let them down gently.
6. The Questioners (When, How & Where Are You Getting Married?)
Some people are just trying to be polite when they ask you when you are getting married (less than 8 hours after the engagement ring came out of the box). But there are others who are just plain nosey.
SOLUTION: Memorise this one: "We've got that sorted, but want it to be a surprise for everyone."
7. Comparing Yourselves to Others.
There will always be someone with more money to spend on their wedding than you.
It can be all too easy to get swamped in inspiration and ideas and forget about what's important.
SOLUTION: When in doubt, step back and take a break. The planning can wait until tomorrow.
Protect your engagement experience as much as you can, for as long as you can. It's the perfect time to build on your team game; knowing that you are in it together for the long haul.