As a therapist who primarily works with girls and young women, I consistently find myself up against what one of my young ladies calls "girl on girl hate": The belittling and mean girl behavior from one girl to the next. For many young women, this is in their face, loud and in full effect each and everyday, and it stretches well beyond school into their personal lives and relationships. {Cue Regina George}.
If you don't know Regina George, she's a character form the 2004 movie Mean Girls, who is controlling and deceitful, and capable of doing everything in her power to get her way - no matter who's life she has to ruin to get there. Unfortunately, this problem is real for far too many young girls, but if they could only use their "powers" for good and realize how their lives could change by helping and supporting one another, we could be on to a newer generation of strong, ambitious women who own their confidence in the most positive way imaginable.
Every woman, regardless of age, has it within herself to empower another woman. Doing so could actually improve your life -- and the lives of plenty of others as well. Here's how:
1. Personal awareness increases.
Sometimes, this just clicks the first time you support another woman with something. You'll recognize your own strengths and quickly learn about what motivates you. This internal revelation can be so powerful and highlight your true, authentic qualities, giving you the perfect opportunity to showcase them to the world.
2. You'll find yourself being happier...it just feels good.
When you're kind to someone else, you're also being kind to yourself. Being mean or judgmental expels so much negative energy. This can be completely exhausting, but most people don't even realize it. Having the certainty to pay someone else a compliment is a huge testament to your character. At the end of the day, there is no competition. Once you see this, you can truly allow yourself to grow into your happiness.
3. It builds a sense of community.
We all have our hot mess moments -- having other women to share them with is a gift. If you think you're alone in whatever struggle you may be facing from time to time, you're not. I encourage you to reach out and connect with others in a way that feels good to you. A strong community of likeminded women is sometimes all you need to get through something.
4. It promotes education.
There is so much to learn from one another. Letting go of your ego and having an open mind can open up monumental possibilities. Be open to learning from others' and their experiences, and don't hesitate to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness -- quite the opposite, in fact. Show your inner strength and reach out for support when you need it.
5. You're seen as an inspiration.
By empowering and building up other women, you are acting as a role model for young women and girls -- even if you don't realize it. Don't miss the opportunity to be a positive force in someone else's life. So many young women [and men] need this.
6. Your confidence gets a boost.
Being genuine and making other people feel good, has a remarkable way of boosting your own confidence. When you can see and acknowledge others' good qualities, you help build up their confidence, and your's will also get a boost.
7. Your inner strength skyrockets.
Show your strengths, girl! So often, we are clouded by external validation, judgment, opinions, etc. Put forth your positive characteristics and you'll inspire others to do the same -- it really is contagious. Focus on what you're good at and do more of it. Celebrate when things go well and grow from things that don't.
"Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them."