You fell head over heels in love with Mr. Dreamboat, who turned into Mr. Disaster and jumped ship. Now you find yourself playing a solo game of Survivor on Misery Island.
You may have stopped taking his calls, stopped driving by his apartment or stopped sleeping in the T-shirt he left at your place, but you may still be having trouble letting go.
It's time to put the brakes on your broken-hearted feelings. Whether your relationship ended six days ago or six months ago, now's the time to break out of your brooding cycle and break through to the life (and the guy) you desire.
So, get your "out with the old in with the new" attitude on. Here are several ways to get you started:
1. Quit Cyberstalking
Are you peeking at his Pinterest? Fishing around his Facebook page? Searching for that chick he cheated with to find out... well, what?
Whether you just want to see his face again, see what he's up to or you want some insight into why he dumped you, no reason is a good one. You're only hurting yourself. You are better than this. Change your focus.
2. Remember to forget
Forget where he lives. Forget who he's going out with. Forget what it's like to have sex with him. Don't slip after one too many martinis and drunk-dial him, drive by his place or even worse, end up in his bed.
Sex will not make things better. I know it's great in the moment, but what about later? It's like eating a plate of double fudge brownies. If you considered the disgusting, bloated feeling you'd have in the morning, you might think twice before taking that first bite.
3. Think about his annoying habits
After a breakup, we tend to remember all the good things about our exes and forget the bad things. This can keep us emotionally glued to them.
Why not remember all the things that bugged you about him instead, like how he snored like a foghorn, made exotic animal sounds during sex or could burp the "Star-Spangled Banner"? By remembering his annoying habits, it'll be easier to let go.
4. Drop the head games
Ditch those head-pounding shoulda-woulda-coulda's. They'll keep you spinning and keep you stuck. The truth is, there's nothing you could've done or said that would've kept him around. Even if you were the most perfect person in the whole world, he still would've found a reason to break up with you.
So stop beating yourself up. Give yourself a break. Know you did the best you could. Enough said.
5. Use the F-word
The other one...forgiveness. It's tough, I know. But here's the thing: You are not doing it for him, you are doing it for you. By forgiving him, you free yourself.
For him to do what he did to you, he may have been broken in some way. Or he's got a lot to learn about how to be good in a relationship. Or maybe he feels bad right now because of the sh*tty way he treated you. Practicing forgiveness will help you heal faster.
6. Focus on your awesomeness
Instead of obsessing about how much you still love him, how about turning that love within? What do you love about yourself? Is it your humor, your intellect or your creativity? The more you love yourself, the less likely you'll crave that love from your ex.
Additionally, think about where you are in your life and what you want to accomplish. Now's the perfect opportunity, so get going on achieving those dreams!
7. Be grateful for all the ones who got away
Remember the hottie who turned into Mr. Freeze when the word "commitment" came up? The sexy narcissist who was only about nailing you in the sack? Or the guy who blindsided you one day with, "I just want to be friends?"
The moment a relationship ends, put it where it should be...behind you. It has no place in your life anymore. Stop playing, "He loves me, he loves me not." Play, "I love myself" instead. Use this experience to empower yourself to live better, love better, and date better.