THE BLOG

75 QUESTIONS TO ASK ANY PROGRESSIVE! NOT FRONT PAGED! EVER!

In his recent Huffpo posting, Robert Elisberg insinuates that Republicans are working off "talking points," but then he tells Huffers to print out HIS list of knee jerk questions, and put them in your pocket. If, of course, you have pockets (my apologies if you don't).

But it immediately made me think of some questions I had of my own! So here are some questions I would like to ask the typical Huffpo progressive:

-Why isn't Air America successful?
- Can you come up with one good thing America has done in its entire history?
-Is manmade lightning burning the ozone hole?
- Can you come up with a single realistic solution for Iraq, other than saying it was a mistake?
-Can you advocate any kind of strategy that counters the absolute threat of terrorism?
- What can Democrats do other than complain (and come up with dumb questions that, in fact, are complaints)?
- Can you admit Al Franken isn't that funny?
- IF 'dissent is patriotic' then why are you guys being so brutal to Joe Lieberman for dissenting from you on Iraq?
- If gay marriage is such a slam dunk civil right, why did you sit on your asses while Clinton AND Gore came up with and signed the Defense of Marriage Act?
- If you take away your anger toward Republicans, is there anything left?
- Can you explain globalization and why it's bad without sounding like a gibbering idiot?
- What's it like taking the bus?
- How many plasma TVs have you purchased over the last 5 years of economic depression?
- Is your Wolf Range still upset at the Viking refrigerator for being more shiny?
-Is Rob Reiner reading this?
-Is he hiring?
-Is the US attack on terrorism really just an excuse for racial profiling?
- Do you hate old ladies who say "god bless you" when you sneeze?
- When was the last time someone gave you McDonald's gift certificates just for being a good person?
- Isn't it amazing how everyone I know thinks all the same things are really, really bad - and isn't it amazing that that coincidence has nothing to do with the uniformity in bias of the news venues you choose to use?
-could you talk to a Marine without secretly knowing he or she knows you're on thin ice?
- When the original HuffPo poster, Margot Kidder, went from activist to the sanitarium, where were you on her road to recovery?
-Has anyone heard from Richard Bradley?
-He has my toothbrush!
-Is Al Franken patenting the pubic hair and Elmer's glue cure for baldness, or is he just keeping the idea to himself?
- What's the official reason Cindy Sheehan doesn't HuffPost anymore?
-Is 'progressive' the best euphemism you've got?
-Would you reject any life-saving drug if it was tested on animals?
-How come all of you were suspicious of Arianna when she was a Republican yet think her aspirations now that she's a 'progressive' are based upon deep conviction?
-What's your favorite color of gardener?
- If we all print out Ellisberg's questions how many trees will that kill?
- And aren't trees a defense against global warming? And so why are you trying to kill all of us --- slowly?-
-What's up with Shiva Rose? Is she back on the market?
-If a tornado hit your home would you blame Bush?
- If your wife blew the pool guy would you blame Bush?
-Do you feel good when bad stuff happens to America? Are you stuck in that horrible little place that prevents you from feeling anything positive about the country you call home?
- Are israeli soldiers more contemptible than terrorists?
- If Gael Garcia Bernal asked you to vote Republican, would you?
- I would.
-would you care what Alec Baldwin has to blog, if he wasn't Alec Baldwin?
-Like, what if he was Stephen Baldwin?
-Or Daniel Baldwin?
-do you still think Reagan was wrong on the Soviet Union?
- While we harp on the ills of Sen. Joseph McCarthy and the harm he did to America, do we practice McCarthyism on those we disagree with politically?
-How did we come to hate the President of the United States more than Saddam Hussein and bin-Laden?
- Could it be because you can't admit you're very scared about Islamic Extremism and know these guys are dead serious and don't negotiate, and framing a Republican as evil incarnate is easier to
grapple with?
-How did we find it better to foment hatred for our own country instead of focusing on fanatics bent on destroying it?
-Could it be possible that your 'all Republicans are stupid or evil' schtick from bumpersticker to watercooler to cocktail chatter causes everyone else to feel very uncomfortable, but they just chalk
up your rudeness to a simple mind?
- do you know how much money Deepak Chopra makes off the gullibility of lonely divorced women?
- What the hell did Noam Chomsky do to not be invited to blog for free at the HuffPo?
- What percent of HuffPo income earned on the backs of slave labor -- literally -- goes to charity?
- Why do Fox newscasters always have great legs?
-And I am not simply refering to Shepard Smith.
- Would you turn down a trip on a gas-guzzling private jet if it took you to the villa of Gael Garcia Bernal?
-Did you know that satellite imagery reveals that Barbara Boxer is actually a lemur?
- Was the fourth of July just another day that you still can't wear shorts in public?
- how did it come that you have more in common with al zarqawi than Bill Frist?
- Do you really think the troops believe your 'I Support the Troops' mantra?
- do you really think anyone bought your compassion for New Orleans when once the Bush bashing capital was spent - you stopped caring?
-Do you think manipulating the spelling of words so they imply something sinister suggests a level of intelligence only slightly higher than mental retardation?
- Do you still think Robin Williams is funny? Did you ever think Whoopi Goldberg was?
-Do black jeans really go with a tweed sport coat?
- If HuffPo is Blog Apartheid, is Dr. Rost Little Steven?
- what happened to all the free napkin art from David Mamet and the music from his wife?
-Why does yacomink keep sending pictures of his feet?
- How come my entry for the Huffpo contagious festival keeps getting ignored?
- I put it in a bag
-Why are the bio pictures so creepy, mine not included?
- Is the HuffPo whiter than Denmark?
- Anyone heard from Tookie lately?
- I keep sending him cookies. Tookie cookies.
- Where are Tookie's kids books on Amazon these days?
-Why aren't my books considered childrens books? Who do I have to kill?
- Where are the lesbians?
-where is Jim Lampley?
- I miss him, terribly.
- How is the impeachment coming?
-Who is the best blogger at the huffpo?
-Who is the best looking blogger?
-it's me, isn't it?
-do you pretend to understand what deepak is saying?
-I do.
-who decided that "earnest" and "angry" would be the dominant traits at Huffpo?
-why isn't Gael Garcia Bernal a guest blogger?
-it's 112 degrees in Iraq. That's got to make you happy in some way, right?
-why is it that Robert Novak aged better than Robert Redford?
-why do leftwingers after the age of fifty wear lots of buttons and suspenders?
-do you think JFK would approve of Michael Moore?
-do you think RFK would approve of Teddy Kennedy?
-do you think Teddy Kennedy would approve of reduced fat Pringles?
-how do you feel when all that effort invested in Plame turned out to be the biggest waste of time ever?
-can I have Cindy Sheehan's fishing hat?
-how come Randi Oakes doesn't blog?
-She was in CHIPS.
-and very hot. Blonde and shapely.
-she replaced Brianne Leary - another attractive actress, but brunette. Look her up.
-is the Shaheen-type hysteria that defines the left simply a function of Baby Boomers collectively knowing that their progeny have no intention of carrying on their philosophical and political legacy when they (soon) pass?
-or is it just gas?
-what is the worst personal experience you have had in the economically depressed BushCo police state?
-It was that bad taco wasn't it?

Goodnight my friends, fans and loved ones!
crikey: forgot to add go here!