You're feeling like "just another guy". You want to understand women and how to build attraction with them. You want to stand out from other men with women. You lack approaching & perhaps social skills and fear rejection. You don't understand female emotion and how to use it to your advantage, but you want to step up and "get the girl."
Why is dating so damn hard? Well, it really isn't if you have a plan and know what the end result looks and feels like.
- You need an outline of what it is that motivates you to find a relationship. Are you aligned with your own purpose and beliefs, and have you cleaned up your relationship baggage? If not, these things could be huge factors that are holding you back. Stop rushing the physical aspects of dating and spend a little more time determining compatibility in the areas that matter most - purpose, beliefs, values.
Some men are shy or seriously rusty when it comes to dating. Not addressing the fears often associated with approaching and communicating with women will decimate your confidence and mindset. You need to start to practice smashing these fears in everyday life in neutral ways. That will help to build an ease with getting you outside of your comfort zone. Confidence is a very important skill built through self and social-awareness. Most men aren't even aware of how to properly occupy their own space, let alone be a presence in a room. If you learn how to use these two skills to read situations better, you will definitely improve your ability to influence your environment and have far more romantic opportunities. Women mistakenly are attracted to the wrong men. Understand the difference between "nice guy" and "bad boy" to have a clear understanding of the actual attraction triggers that women respond to. Evoke in her things like provide and protect and appeal to her feminine nature. . When you know even just a these two, women will be beating down your door. Success hinges upon you being able to humanize and uncomplicated women in your male brain. As men, you live in a "maybe" that is far different than a woman's. Get control of the flow of relationships better, from the beginning, so needy, bitchy and freak out moments almost never happen. Know the difference between a strong woman and a manipulative woman. Strong women value their time and yours. Manipulators use time and affection as a weapon. Your idea of modern courting is flawed. So let's clear things up for you. Women want to be courted by men. They like the idea of a man taking the lead from the beginning. You ought to be initiating and planning dates, paying for them, and expressing interest in a direct and genuine way. Be bold and show passion for her. The process of dating puts a lot the responsibility on men, I get it. But these intentional acts of courtship will show a woman that you are choosing her, consistently. Widen your net! Expansion of your dating pool will not only help you to meet better quality women; it will improve your social skills. Being seen is by far one of the greatest challenges singles face today. While online dating gives you choices far beyond your zip code, most people are limiting themselves to a 25 mile radius. If you are going to stay in that zone, you need to actively be out in it. Events, groups, meet ups, classes, etc. - find something to do. If she is not there, then you need to find places that this dream girl of yours will be hanging out.You have a checklist. No, criteria and desired qualities are not just for women. You do it too. And you know what; there is nothing wrong with having wants so long as you bring the counterpoint to each thing on that list. Basically, who is she, this elusive creature you will call yours? Now who are you? More importantly, who do you need to be to get her?
Every man can have just about any woman he wants. Seriously. For some men it takes a breakup, a devastating divorce or a life altering experience before he will actually see women as a gift. And only then will they get back to the mindset of a man who truly loves women. Regardless of where you've been or what the starting point is; if you do it with purpose and an open heart you will find her.
Lisa Schmidt is a Dating and Relationship coach in Detroit and the author of her own blog. She is a regular contributor to several online publications. Dating and relationship questions can also be sent to her directly Ask Lisa Here Grab this free resource to work on your own dating goals and dating checklist.