I meet an American man living in Thailand on election day. We bumped into each other in the market in Chiang Mai. The news had just broken of the final election results. He looked at me, his fellow American whom he had never met, and said, “I am sorry.” Tears flooded to my eyes and I started sobbing. The stranger grabbed me and pulled me into his arms and we embraced, crying on each others shoulders. My tears were not of who won, but of deep sadness, of pain, and fear, and mostly of shame, shame that I couldn't see how much America was hurting. Shame that we didn't actually know how divided we truly were. The results were shocking, but more shocking was how different we are in our fundamental beliefs and what the results revealed about our brothers and sisters.
What we saw was a massive wound in our own people. No matter who you voted for, this process revealed that Millions of Americans have been hurting silently (on both sides), and during election week their fear and sadness and hatred was exposed. And in that exposure, it has brought a tsunami of more hate, rage, and judgment from the collective whole. We are all under attack, and the perpetrators are all at our own hands. It is the fear and judgment that exists in our own hearts. We are letting fear and our own insecurities win. But we do have a choice. We always have a choice.
There I was, more than 8,600 miles away from home, in a warm embrace, hugging an American stranger, and it clicked…
The potential of this election was never about what candidate won but what it represents for the people. This election has the extraordinary power to guide us back to love.
This election is a desperate cry for us to come together and unite. We don’t have to believe the same things to get along. Instead of seeing us as a divided nation or attacking one another, we have an opportunity to really listen and hear our friends and family. We are all hurting. We can use this revelation to help us learn about one another and really strive to understand our own hearts. This is a massive invitation to come together not fall apart.
Fear was ever-so-present during this election. No matter who you support, fear was most likely your motivator. Those who support the president-elect used fear to move him into office, and those who didn’t vote for him now fear the future. Terror is running the show, folks, and we are giving it full permission to sprint ahead. We can stop this by letting love in.
Now is a pivotal moment in our history to take our lives back and choose love. In the wake of any mass disturbance to society (and no matter who won, we would be witnessing massive fear, judgment, and pain), we can use this as an opportunity. Think of it as a light switch. It is time to turn us on and tune into our hearts. We can reveal more light and love; it is there under the fear—we just have to consciously choose it.
As singer Sara Barelle’s tweeted the day after the election, "I can only hope that we can heal the cancer of hatred that has been exposed. It was here the whole time. Let the work begin. Choose love."
The cancer of hatred is in ALL of us; it is not them against you. No matter who you voted for, look within yourself for the hatred that is in your own heart. Look at where you are attacking others and where you attack yourself. Seek to understand it, heal it, and nurture it. For the only way we can move through this pain is to be aware and honor the process.
So with that, our only job is to seek to understand what we don’t and this compassion will move us into love and a better future for us all. The same way cats and dogs can live in the same household, each with a completely different approach to life and contrasting mentality. They have found a way to coexist, and in some household even be best friends. We don’t have to see eye-to-eye, we probably never will, but we need to respect one another. Let’s stop attacking people who don’t see the world the same way. The contrast is part of being alive. Stop attacking each other and thinking the other person is wrong. Stay confident in your own beliefs but be open minded to others. We must seek to understand and let compassion lead the way. Love is the only way to move us forward.
Here are eight essential things to help you move from fear to love:
1. Free Your Feelings
Feel your disappointment. Embrace your anger and let fear sit with you. But don’t let it take you over. A large problem is, we haven’t let ourselves feel, which is one of the reasons we are in this situation. Do not run from your feelings, but be respectful of your sharing. There is no need to attack or judge in your sadness, and there is never real healing that comes from attacking others. You are entitled to your opinions, but feeling your own feelings is more important than trying to get others to feel them too.
2. Seek to Know More About What You Don’t Understand
The truth is, people are terrified of what they don’t understand. We fear staying the same and we fear the unknown. This constant balancing act keeps us stuck and trapped by illusions. Instead of attacking what you fear and lashing out on what terrifies you, seek to understand it. Go within your own heart and ask yourself: Why it is so terrifying? What does this really represent? What does this say about me and my own inner shadows and deep wounds that need to be addressed? What does this reveal about my faith and my place in the world? There are no wrong answers, simply the truth within. But seeking to learn more about what scares you is the path to love and peace.
3. Accept What You Can’t Change, Change What You Can’t Accept
Instead of fighting hate with more hate, can you make positive change with love? Protests, rage, and verbal abuse will not solve our dilemma but only create further separation. Use this time to practice surrender and deepening your faith in the bigger picture. From a spiritual perspective, everything is always in right order, which means that if you can’t accept what is, you work to change it. But do so with grace, love, and intention.
4. Open Yourself Up Instead of Closing Down
This is a perfect time to get involved with organizations you believe in, share more of your true self with loved ones, and open up instead of isolating yourself and closing in.
5. Listen and Hold Space for Each Other Without Judgment
It is important for us to see our friends as who they are instead of pushing our beliefs onto them. You can move from fear into love by embracing one another where they are. Simply listen and hold space for others. Let them share their own perspective. Sit and actively listen to them. As we do this we can learn about one another, and in this expression we develop more compassion. Everyone’s perspective counts, and as we strive to learn more about one another and truly understand their sorrows, their pain, and their joys, we can embrace each other and become more connected.
6. Send Love to Everyone
This is not a time of separation but an opportunity for unity, for community, for collaboration. One of the best ways to do that is through prayer and meditation. You can do this by praying for those you don’t support and understand as well as those you do. Sending love to others is as simple as closing your eyes and thinking of the person and sending them love. Now more than ever we need each other, and despite our different beliefs or opinions, we all need love. We can rise above our indifferences and be the light for one another, let love in, and shine forward by intentionally sending and choosing love.
7. Look Within Your Own Heart for Imbalances
A Course in Miracles states that the outside world is a reflection of our internal state. This is a clear manifestation of our own imbalances within our own hearts. There is no separation from what we are experiencing and the hate, judgment, and pain within. Instead of pointing the finger or being a victim or casting our judgment, seek to learn about the pain you are carrying within yourselves. What part of you feels unheard, unloved, and misunderstood? Seek to give yourself the love you are missing out in the world and you will see your world transform.
8. Let Grace Guide You
Fear is ugly, it is insecure and it the opposite of love. Through this new transition align yourself with love. Choose grace, let grace in, let grace be your light. As another Facebook friend Sheliey Lundquist says, “You are not the things that happen to you. You are the grace that follows.”
Love is the way—it is the only way. Let love guide you.
Grab this free resource guide to help you clear your fear and choose love.