Most of us go into relationships with the best of intentions. We put our best feet forward in the first three months with the anticipation that the relationship will continue to grow and go the distance.
We introduce our partner to our friends and family hoping to get the vote of approval. Often we share our dreams for the future, plan holidays and vacations together and learn the fine art of compromising in a relationship, because it's worth it.
Sometimes outside influences can attack our relationship resulting in the inevitable bumps on the road. It's at these times that we look at our partner and either deal favorably with conflict resolution, or sadly our ego sometimes gets in the way and we end up heading for a fall.
From financial issues to family stress, the romantic gestures from an outsider at work to juggling the schedules of children, even job pressures can affect the best of relationships.
Here are a few tips to know if you're relationship is on its way out, or if it's just a bump on the road that hopefully will become a distant memory.
1. They stop sending good morning and good night text messages. If your significant other used to start his or her day with a good morning text and good night text, but those have disappeared, chances are the relationship could be fizzling out.
2. Phone calls are reduced. If your significant other usually calls you after lunch, on his or her way home from work, or before bedtime when you're not together and the calls have been reduced to once a day or a few times a week, your sweetheart may be disengaging from the relationship.
3. Pet names disappear. He or she goes from saying, "It's me" to leaving messages with their first or full name, assume the familiarity and romance are on their way out. Affectionate pet names are part of a relationship. It's what makes you unique as a couple and puts a smile on your face.
4. Plans are made without you in mind. If your normal routine is to see each other a few times a week and on weekends and suddenly your significant other would rather go out for drinks with friends and go home alone instead of into your arms, assume they are creating more distance and are open to the possibilities of meeting someone else.
5. Future talks are put on hold. If you had been discussing living together or even planning a vacation six months out and now you're not sure when you'll be getting together in the next few days, your relationship suddenly might become a short-term affair, and not with someone who wants to go the distance anymore.
6. Sex dissipates. Having a healthy sex life creates bonding in a relationship. If you're partner is having doubts about the relationship, often sex is the first thing to go. If your sex life goes from "hot" to "not," there's a possibility your partner is detaching from the relationship.
7. PDA disappears. If you're the kind of affectionate couple who holds hands in public and loves cuddling at night and you find yourself sleeping on your side of the bed, there could be trouble in paradise. If the welcome home kisses are no longer part of your regime, it's a sign that you might be falling out of the love zone.
8. Titles disappear. While titles are usually more important to a woman than to a man, if you've been introduced as the girlfriend, boyfriend or partner and suddenly you're being introduced as, "This is Janie," there could be trouble on the horizon or you might be moving into the friend zone.
Understand that feelings can fluctuate in a relationship, but if the flow has been disrupted by most of these relationship issues on this list, you might be headed for splitsville.
Before you catastrophize and think it's over, take the time to talk to your partner about how important they are in your life. Acknowledge there's been a shift in the relationship and ask them if there are any outside stressors that could be affecting the two of you. One of you might still be brewing about something that happened over a month ago and perhaps an apology needs to be made if your partner is feeling resentful about something or misunderstood.
Acknowledge how affectionate you used to be, and let your partner know that you miss those times and would love to get back on track. Take the time to listen to your partner's concerns. If you truly think this is a relationship worth fighting for, let your partner know that you don't want to toss it away. Ask how you can help bring back the romance in your life.
If your partner just isn't feeling it for you anymore, don't fight it. Thank them for the memories and start the healing process. I know it hurts to have another failed relationship. But I also know that there is someone special out there waiting for you. Perhaps you just haven't met him or her yet.