School can make even the make even the most resilient kid feel stressed from time to time. Whether it's navigating friendships, learning new skills, pleasing their teachers or making their parents proud, it can be a challenging environment when you're still figuring a lot of stuff out.
No wonder a large scale study of more than 10,000 school kids found that 31% of students felt "very stressed", 40% said they worried too much and 40% reported that they had difficulties in staying calm. How can we help our children figure this out?
The good news is that not all stress is bad for kids.
Researchers suggest children can experience three different types of stress. Toxic stress is triggered by intense adverse experiences sustained over long periods of time where kids feel unable to effectively manage what's unfolding and negatively impact brain development, immune functioning and social relationships. Tolerable stress comes from a one-off intense event where the child has support and resources to heal and grow from the event. And positive stress is triggered by everyday adverse situations where the adversity is not extreme and is short-lived.
Professor Lea Waters at the Graduate School of Education at Melbourne University suggests that positive stress is a normal part of the developmental process that helps children to develop the essential life skills of coping with and adapting to new situations. And that as parents we can make a positive impact on our kids stress levels and play an important role in cultivating their wellbeing.
So how can we help our children positively navigate the everyday stresses that are part of school life? In Australia recently I partnered with back to school specialists, Officeworks, to find 8 ways you can help your kids let their amazing out by:
- Discovering Their Strengths: For younger kids, all you need to do is start looking for the times they 'light up' and try to name the strengths you can see them exercising. For kids 10+, the free VIA Youth Survey is a great tool to discover their character strengths. Visual cues are very useful for kids, so help them to create a strengths poster, strengths card or strengths cape highlighting the things they do best.
What can you try today to help your make stress a more positive experience for your kids?