2017 was a year of conflict. My brain felt like it was on information over-load. Simple tasks felt complex, and every time I saw a news alert light up on my phone my stomach would drop into my toes. My soul had the double-duty of telling my brain everything will be ok, while also trying not to weep as every day led to a new heartbreak. 2017 was a year when up and down became flipped, exterminated and replaced with words like covfefe…
But, as Harvey Milk said, “You gotta give ‘em hope.” Here are my best suggestions for trumping hate in 2018.
1. Learn.
One of my 2017 goals was to fill in some knowledge gaps. In addition to books and my normal news websites, I learned about the process of investigative journalism, watched documentaries outside of my normal interests, and listened to podcasts. 2017 was the year I learned to love podcasts. I am smarter after listening to the former Obama staffers who created Crooked Media. A few of their pods, Pod Save America, Lovett or Leave It, and Pod Save the People have been in my ears during many an evening run. (I’m also a new loyal Blue Apron customer thanks to them.) If you enjoy short stories, look for LeVar Burton Reads (Reading Rainbow 80s kids rejoice!) NPR has a diverse selection of podcasts. Stuff You Missed in History Class and Philosophize This! taught this liberal studies major and sociology Ph.D. a thing a two she didn’t already know. I found myself learning more about the Arab Springs through the humor and raw honesty of Bassem Youssef’s book “Revolution for Dummies” than I would have in many other ways.
2. Run.
Consider running for office, running for local elected positions, and/or running for charity while you elevate your heart rate. The folks at Run for Something help people learn the mechanics of a campaign. She Should Run and Emily’s List are both outstanding organizations for women interested in elected office. (Both are seeing a massive influx of women candidates.) Look into groups like Indivisible and Swing Left for grassroots organizing. Or, if running for office isn’t your jam, but any activity with the word “run” in it makes you reach for your favorite shoes, consider charity runs that benefit your community. Check out active.com or Running in the USA for more info. (I spend a lot of my time wondering if enough days have passed where I can eat pizza again without it being seen as an addiction. This may be the main reason I run.)
Be inspired by running stories like Danica Roem (whose candidate platform was based in better traffic patterns) or consider the tenacious feet of Alison Désir and her group Harlem Run. At the onset of 2017, Allison participated in the Women’s March on Washington by gathering up three lady-friends and ran 240 miles from Harlem to Washington D.C. over the course of four days. Along the way they raised over $100,000 for Planned Parenthood, a testament to the power of women, resistance, and friendship. Whether you run for office or get out and pound the pavement to help an organization, running will become a lesson in your own power of persistence.
3. Re-frame.
I spent some time in 2017 learning to re-frame my thoughts on people with whom I disagree. Sometimes I have come out the other end like, “I’ve thought about it, meditated on it, and discussed it with my therapist. I still think you are the absolute worst.” But, mainly this change in attitude has helped me to reevaluate many relationships for the better. By re-framing relationships with family, friends, and acquaintances whose perspectives I may not like, I’ve been able to see all we have in common. We are more alike than we think. We hope for health and happiness and work to make sure our kids can go to college and be good people. Love is stronger than hate.
Here are some tips on learning the art of empathy. You can also download Headspace to learn simple meditations with titles like “Difficult Conversations”, “Panicking”, and “Losing your Temper.” Additionally, Brené Brown’s book Into the Wilderness fleshes out ways to re-frame how we treat each other. Check out Sarah Silverman’s show “I Love You, America” for some great interviews on the power of re-framing our ideas.
4. Listen.
#metoo is about more than groups of women (and men) sharing stories of sexual harassment/sexual assault. It is a movement demanding that these experiences be heard and dealt with. After Anita Hill spoke out against Clarence Thomas in 1991, more women ran for office than in any other year. 2017 is shaping out to be a similar moment for women. Yet, moments are not what we need. Large-scale cultural shifts need to happen. As we reach the one-year mark for The Women’s March, and we reflect on what happens when millions of people are not heard, listening becomes central for our collective continued existence. Change isn’t going to come if we don’t start listening to each other and really hearing what the other person says. I would add that listening without judgement, fear or aggression should be high on our national “to-do” list.
5. Follow.
Clean out your social media. Follow folks who matter. Unfollow those who do not. My Instagram feed used to be several Real Housewives, selfie obsessed pop stars, and a few people I didn’t even like. I purged my accounts, deleted folks who were toxic and added people who can teach me something, make me laugh, or whose daily doses of inspiration keep me afloat. (I did keep one Housewife, because I am a Bethenny Frankel fan for life. Check out her work in Puerto Rico here.)
There is a lot of talk about the need for leaders. However, don’t be afraid to be a follower. Someone else doing it better? Copy them. (With their permission, of course.) Is there a map already drawn? Follow that path and then make it better with your own ideas. Has the playbook been written and rewritten after millions of trial and error efforts? Take it and run! Building on the work of other people can be fulfilling. Just give credit where credit is due.
6. Travel.
As Mark Twain said, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.” Even if it is just by car, a few hours from your house, get out and see how other people live. Travel doesn’t have to be expensive (see here and here for cheap travel tips, or just get on Pinterest and fall down the cheap travel rabbit hole.) Travel should give you moments to pause, to marvel at something and set a refresh button. Step outside of your usual travel destination and try something new. Figure out what your budget is and work within it. Or, figure out where you want to go and then find a way to pay for it. Trust me, if you can breathe your way through the monetary and emotional costs of airline travel, you can do anything.
7. Contact.
Anyone else have their elected officials contact info saved? I give Marco Rubio (one of my senators) a call once a week or so to check in. If you haven’t heard of Five Calls, check out their info here. They give you all the tools needed to call your local, state and national representatives on issues you care about. The Women’s March has set up calls for action on their website, and local women’s march Facebook groups have surfaced asking folks to protest at local representative’s offices. If your representative aligns with your beliefs, send them notes of encouragement and hold them accountable when their actions don’t match their campaign promises.
Make contact with the people around you. Step away from screens and get to know your community. It’s shocking how quickly we want to become engaged once our eyes are open to local issues.
8. Give.
A quick Google search for volunteer opportunities in your area should do the trick. For smaller towns, churches and community centers can point you in the direction of where to help out. To get started, look at Volunteer Match or United Way websites. If you are a college student, check with your student services or student life office to see which departments on campus take volunteers. Many campus women’s centers, lgbt centers and campus health centers will be in need.
Money is the simple way to give. Consider setting up a reoccurring monthly donation via credit/debit card. It’s an easy way to give much needed assistance. Some employers will also set up automatic donations through your paycheck. (The most awesome employers might match what you give.)
Let’s all move forward into 2018 with renewed spirits and a pair of good walking shoes. There’s going to be a lot of work to do.